Leipzig AU: the choices we make

[nerves_of_ice]

It's a month after Thessaloniki when he slips the unmarked, unstamped postcard in the mail at Sharon Carter's apartment.

(It had taken him the entire month to decide to reach out. He'd spent most of the time burying himself in his self-imposed work and not allowing himself to think about anything other than the mission. Eventually, he'd realized that it wasn't working, and that there was only one way to find out what he now needs to know, even if he can't admit even to himself exactly why he does.)

Of course there's always the chance she'll think it's just an advertisement and ignore it. If she does, he'll try again with something a little more obvious before deciding she's not interested in reconnecting. Still, he thinks she's clever enough to catch it, and to decode the message, which isn't that subtle when it comes down to it: time, place, location.

It takes far less than a minute to pick the lock on the mailbox security panel - two seconds, maybe three, and he's able to pull it open, drop the card on top of her mail, and secure it once more.

Bucky makes his way from her apartment back down the Berlin street quickly and quietly, cap pulled down to hide his face, and disappears into the crowd.

Comments

[from_the_outside]

Even as she sips her water, her smile reaches her eyes.

"Honestly, most of the time I was in and out quickly," she says, relenting just a little. "A lot of undercover work and short-term missions."

She taps a finger on the table, considering him, then offers up a few breadcrumbs. "Five years ago I was in Colombia. I bet that's more than enough of a hint for you to work with."

[nerves_of_ice]

"I bet you're right."

On the other side of the room, a door opens, letting through a jazz trio that starts setting up in a corner. Bucky ignores them for the moment to ask,

"Do you miss the United States?"

[from_the_outside]

For the first time, her expression turns a little wistful. "Yeah. But it's more that I miss my parents. And being able to see my aunt."

That quick visit two weeks ago really hadn't been enough at all. "It's not the first time I've been away for a long time, but it was nice to be stationed nearby for a while when I was in DC."

She tips her head slightly, inquisitive. "What about you? Do you miss Brooklyn?"

[nerves_of_ice]

He buys himself a second to phrase his answer by stealing an apple slice from the shared plate, then nods. "I do. Sometimes, anyway." When he lets himself think about it; when he's sorting through the tangle of memories or when something catches him by surprise that calls something new back.

His expression shades into something more than a little wry. "I know it's different now than when I lived there, but still... I'd l--"

Bucky coughs as his throat threatens to lock and reaches for his water to clear it before continuing, "-- it'd be nice to go back, at least for a visit, maybe. Someday."

[from_the_outside]

"Yeah," she agrees, soft, as she watches him. "I bet it would be."

She gives herself a little mental shake, and smiles again, only a little rueful. "I don't know much about that area, so I really couldn't say how much it's changed. I was mostly only ever in New York for work."

[nerves_of_ice]

"It's changed a lot," he tells her, "but the heart of it's the same. The feel of it, too. It's Brooklyn. It's New York."

A little dryly, he adds, "I was there a couple of years ago. Briefly. After - well, you know."

[from_the_outside]

"I remember," she says, wry.

("Stand down. Captain's orders.")

It's not a day she's likely to forget any time soon. She reaches for another piece of pretzel, wondering if he knows or has guessed she was in the Triskelion that day.

(She should have chased Rumlow. Should have brought him down.)

"Good that you got a chance to get back, though. Even if it was just for a bit."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Just for a bit," he echoes, and leaves it at that. Bucky glances out at the dance floor as the trio starts playing something up-tempo, then back at her with a small, quick smile.

"Would you like to dance?"

[from_the_outside]

That boyish smile sparks an answering one of her own, and she nods, pleased and a little nervous.

"Definitely."

Her stuff should be perfectly fine here in the booth, where they'll both be able to check on it, so she offers her hand to him. "Let's go."

[nerves_of_ice]

He draws her to her feet and holds her hand lightly in his as they walk to the dance floor. They're the only couple out there right now, which is just as well as far as he's concerned.

Bucky gives a cordial nod to the trio, then turns to Sharon. "Start with the foxtrot?" he suggests. She'd said she'd had some experience, and it'll be a good way to get a sense of how well they move together.

[from_the_outside]

At his suggestion, she relaxes slightly and nods, pleased. A foxtrot is easy and good for conversation – that's why it was so popular as a social dance, after all.

And it's one she happens to be perfectly familiar with, thanks to a lifetime of lessons and society parties. "Perfect," she says, and steps towards him to put her hand on his shoulder, turning the other in his until they're in the proper dance hold.

[nerves_of_ice]

It's instantly apparent to him that she's very familiar with it, given the way she's holding herself centered and in good form, the way one hand rests against his shoulder and the other against his, and Bucky's smile is both sudden and absolutely delighted.

As they pick up the beat of the music and he leads her into the dance, it's also apparent that he's got more than a little experience himself.

[from_the_outside]

It takes about two seconds for muscle memory to kick in, but he's such a good leader that she almost doesn't need it. She's got no idea how he controls that left arm of his, but he manages to be gentle and firm at the same time in precisely the right amounts to guide them around the floor in the familiar slow, slow, quick-quick steps of the foxtrot.

"Very nice," she compliments. She's usually pretty light on her feet, but a good leader can make her feel nearly weightless – and he's excellent.

[nerves_of_ice]

"Look who's talking," he teases. "You dance like a dream."

[from_the_outside]

She laughs, quick and bright, and tosses her head. "I'll be sure to pass the compliments on to my old instructors," she teases right back.

"Anyway, it's easy with a good leader."

It's also odd and a little exciting to be this close to him for this long, even though this proper dance hold keeps it from feeling too intimate; her pulse flutters and picks up and she's not naive enough to think it's only from the exercise.

[nerves_of_ice]

"That so?"

That ripple of laughter's almost as bright as the fall of her hair when she tosses her head, and he feels his heart turn over inside him with longing.

He shouldn't be doing this, he shouldn't be risking her like this, but they're already here and he's not going to let anything stop them, not tonight. Bucky grins at her and swings her into a more advanced set of steps.

[from_the_outside]

Her eyes brighten and so does her smile as she meets his challenge, stepping lightly as he sweeps them around the floor, their turns tight and balanced. With no one else on the floor, they have all the room they could ever want, and they take advantage of it; she laughs as he turns them and changes direction and follows his leads like its the most natural, easiest thing in the world.

It honestly feels that way; she feels as in synch with him now as when they were casing the museum, as when they fought through the facility together.

The band, happy to have someone dancing to their music, vamps up the piece they're playing – she's sure they're extending it for their benefit.

[nerves_of_ice]

This is going to be one of those memories that he keeps in the depths of his mind, he knows, along with a few others that were too deep down to be ripped from him even when he couldn't quite remember. She's light on her feet and smiling at him, the air around them filled with music and laughter, and it's already one of the best nights he can think of in years.

The music shifts, preparatory to the transition to something new, but he recognizes the beat of it and tilts his head in a question, fondness in his glance.

"How do you feel about the lindy?"

[from_the_outside]

"I feel like you're probably better at it than I am," she laughs, "but I'm up for anything."

Right now she feels like he could ask her to try just about whatever and she'd be willing to give it a shot. She can't get over the way his whole expression has lightened, how he keeps grinning at her, how bright his eyes are.

And his hand is warm and firm on her back and she is, pretty much literally, getting swept right off her feet.

And enjoying the hell out of it. "Let's go."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Well, I've danced it a few times before," he teases, and spins her out into the first steps.

[from_the_outside]

"I just bet you have," she laughs back, and follows cheerfully.

The lindy is a faster beat than the foxtrot and soon her cheeks are flushed pink and her curls are bouncing and flying with each spin and turn. This is when his experience and excellence as a leader really helps, since she's not as familiar with it, but she picks up what he's putting down and rises to the challenge, laughing breathlessly along the way.

[nerves_of_ice]

By the time the song comes round to its end, he's enchanted with her all over again. Bucky spins her to a stop on the side of the dance floor nearest their booth and holds both her hands lightly in his as he smiles at her.

"Next song we'll do aerials, if you're up for it. But want to catch your breath and get a drink first?"

[from_the_outside]

"Yes please," she grins. She's far from out of shape, but that's an energetic dance and she's flushed and pink with the exertion. She squeezes his fingers lightly; they're closer now that they've stopped than when they were dancing, and it means his smile is intoxicatingly close.

She feels so giddy it's hard to remember that she hasn't had a sip of alcohol since that shared half-glass, probably almost an hour ago. "I'm up for anything," she teases. "Just try not fling me too far; I know how strong you are."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Count on it," he promises, and sets his right hand at the small of her back to guide her back to the table again.

[from_the_outside]

That light, gentlemanly touch does more to her than it has any right to; her stomach flips like a pancake and her heart, just beginning to slow from the dance, picks right back up again.

And, fine. He is objectively stupid hot, with that silky brown hair and those slate blue eyes and that flash grenade of a grin. But she doesn't think that's the only thing about him that's getting under her skin, and it's both a relief and a disappointment when she slides back into her seat and his hand lifts away. "What do you like to drink?" she asks.

"I know it doesn't hit you the same way, but do you still enjoy it?"