Leipzig AU: the choices we make

[nerves_of_ice]

It's a month after Thessaloniki when he slips the unmarked, unstamped postcard in the mail at Sharon Carter's apartment.

(It had taken him the entire month to decide to reach out. He'd spent most of the time burying himself in his self-imposed work and not allowing himself to think about anything other than the mission. Eventually, he'd realized that it wasn't working, and that there was only one way to find out what he now needs to know, even if he can't admit even to himself exactly why he does.)

Of course there's always the chance she'll think it's just an advertisement and ignore it. If she does, he'll try again with something a little more obvious before deciding she's not interested in reconnecting. Still, he thinks she's clever enough to catch it, and to decode the message, which isn't that subtle when it comes down to it: time, place, location.

It takes far less than a minute to pick the lock on the mailbox security panel - two seconds, maybe three, and he's able to pull it open, drop the card on top of her mail, and secure it once more.

Bucky makes his way from her apartment back down the Berlin street quickly and quietly, cap pulled down to hide his face, and disappears into the crowd.

Comments

[from_the_outside]

"What?" she says, blank, but her answer comes in the form of him pulling away and she almost smacks her own forehead in annoyance at herself.

Way to play it cool, Carter.

"No," she adds, quickly. "That was a good reaction. Not a bad one."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Oh," he says, and then it hits him. "Oh. Good to know."

He smiles, slow and warm, as the waiter arrives with their drinks.

[from_the_outside]

Oh, she mouths, lifting her eyebrows at him, exaggerated and teasing, and accepts her martini with a smile and thanks for the waiter, then waits for Bucky to pick up his drink before she lifts hers in a casual toast.

[nerves_of_ice]

He shrugs. "No matter what Peggy may have told you ... let's say I'm a little out of practice."

He lifts his own glass to her in turn and takes a sip. His eyebrows rise. "Very nice."

[from_the_outside]

"Well, you're not the only one."

Between the two of them, at least he realized this was a date. She watches with no small amount of anticipation as he sips at the Scotch, and her grin flashes, brilliant and pleased, at his reaction. "Good, isn't it?"

She sips at her martini, which is perfectly crisp and smooth and refreshing – and strong. She makes a mental note to eat some more of the cheese and bread while they're sitting here.

[nerves_of_ice]

"It is," he agrees. "How's yours?"

[from_the_outside]

"Perfect."

Crisp, ice-cold, and with just the faintest hint of lemon from the oil in the twist. "I figured this was the kind of place that would make a good martini."

[nerves_of_ice]

"They pride themselves on doing things right. It's part of the exclusivity thing," he drawls.

[from_the_outside]

"Well, they did."

She takes another sip and sets the martini down, slowly turning the fragile stem of the glass between her fingers as she watches him. "She said you were a heartbreaker," Sharon says, finally. "Aunt Peggy."

One finger taps against the glass, light. "Charming. Fond of dancing. Quick with a line. Good looking and knew it. Smart and picked things up quick. Loyal to a fault."

She tilts her head, very slightly, studying him, hearing her aunt's voice in her head from all those stories, all those years ago. "She always liked you," she adds, soft. "Always."

[nerves_of_ice]

"I always liked her, too," he murmurs, as a shadow passes through his glance.

"I don't know how much of that I am anymore. Or could be again. But I do know I don't want to break your heart."

[from_the_outside]

Oh, but he could. She's absolutely certain of it. Given how she'd felt just in the last month. "Good," she says, soft. "I don't want that either, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't."

She wets her lip and watches him, the expression in her own eyes gentle. "I just wanted you to know," she murmurs. "She never thought you were just a flirt. Well," she amends, her lips twitching into a tiny smile, "she thought you were the worst flirt she'd ever known. But she saw so much more. And I see it too."

Her tone shifts, trying to lighten the topic. "But I admit I was predisposed to like you."

[nerves_of_ice]

Slowly, deliberately, so that she can pull away if she wants, Bucky reaches for her hand with his right one. His fingers are warm as he curves them under hers and runs his thumb lightly over the back of her hand.

[from_the_outside]

Carefully, feeling like she's dreaming, she curls her fingers gently over his, while goosebumps race up her forearm in a soft shiver.

"This is nice," she says, quiet. Pretty damn far from how she thought she'd be spending her night. And far nicer than that, if she's being honest.

[nerves_of_ice]

"Nicest night I've spent in a month," he murmurs, watching her.

[from_the_outside]

She glances a smile down into her martini, then looks back up to meet his eyes. "Me too."

[nerves_of_ice]

He raises her hand and kisses it, then squeezes her fingers and starts to let go.

[from_the_outside]

She gasps, very softly, as his lips touch her skin, as that knot in her stomach squeezes so tight she's almost dizzy. Her fingers are reluctant to let go of his, though she allows it after a second as she swallows hard.

"I don't know," she says, her smile flickering back into life. "Seems like you're still pretty damn smooth."

[nerves_of_ice]

He lets out a breath that could be a laugh and picks up his drink for another sip.

"Doesn't feel that way. But as long as you're patient with me..."

[from_the_outside]

"It's not my strong suit," she admits, toying with her martini before she picks it up for another sip, "but in this case..."

She smiles, wry. "Besides, you'll need to be patient with me, too."

[nerves_of_ice]

He smiles back. "I guess I did catch you a little off guard."

[from_the_outside]

She huffs a laugh and runs her fingers, now feeling sadly bereft, through her hair, pushing it back behind her ear.

"Yeah," she agrees. "But it's not just that. I told you: I'm a mess, too."

[nerves_of_ice]

"You did," he agrees, clearly dubious, "but I don't know why."

[from_the_outside]

She smiles, slight and a little crooked, and lifts her martini. "I guess we'll figure it out as we go," she says.

"Isn't that what people usually do?"

[nerves_of_ice]

His tone is very wry when he tells her, "Haven't we been doing that all along?"

[from_the_outside]

"I have," she tells him, pert. "All the planning's been on your end."