Leipzig AU: the choices we make

[nerves_of_ice]

It's a month after Thessaloniki when he slips the unmarked, unstamped postcard in the mail at Sharon Carter's apartment.

(It had taken him the entire month to decide to reach out. He'd spent most of the time burying himself in his self-imposed work and not allowing himself to think about anything other than the mission. Eventually, he'd realized that it wasn't working, and that there was only one way to find out what he now needs to know, even if he can't admit even to himself exactly why he does.)

Of course there's always the chance she'll think it's just an advertisement and ignore it. If she does, he'll try again with something a little more obvious before deciding she's not interested in reconnecting. Still, he thinks she's clever enough to catch it, and to decode the message, which isn't that subtle when it comes down to it: time, place, location.

It takes far less than a minute to pick the lock on the mailbox security panel - two seconds, maybe three, and he's able to pull it open, drop the card on top of her mail, and secure it once more.

Bucky makes his way from her apartment back down the Berlin street quickly and quietly, cap pulled down to hide his face, and disappears into the crowd.

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[from_the_outside]

A thrill runs through her, setting every nerve alight, as the sound he makes drops a sizzling coal straight into her gut. She makes a low sound against his mouth as he rocks up against her, a wave of sheer want crashing over her, drowning out every coherent thought.

"Bucky," she gasps. "Bucky, please – "

He'd said tell me what you want and she knows he meant it. "I want – "

[nerves_of_ice]

“Tell me,” he murmurs, his breath warm against her lips. He kisses her again like she’s air, then repeats it. “Tell me. Anything. Everything. What do you want, baby?”

[from_the_outside]

"You." She kisses him again, trembling with the force of holding back. "I want you to touch me. Everywhere."

She kisses him over and over, soft words tumbling from her mouth, pressed like a prayer to his. "Your hands on my skin. Your mouth. Your kisses. You."

Sharon pulls back just enough to reach back and guide one of his hands to the hem of her pretty green shirt, her eyes blown dark with desire.

[nerves_of_ice]

He slips his hand under her shirt and rests it flat against her stomach for a moment while he kisses her again.

“I will. I will,” he promises. “Bedroom?”

[from_the_outside]

She nods and kisses him again, full of sweet longing, then pulls away and comes to her feet, holding out a hand to him.

"Come on," she murmurs, and smiles at him, the sweetest smile she has, the one that dimples her cheeks and warms her eyes like he's the best thing she's ever seen, the person she's been waiting all her life to smile at.

"Come to bed."

[nerves_of_ice]

She shines in the low light of the room, her smile glorious and her hair floating loose over her shoulders, and it knocks the breath out of him.

Bucky takes her hand and stands, then without warning bends and scoops her up into his arms, carrying her like she's weightless, and kisses her again. "Tell me if I'm going the wrong way," he teases, and crosses the living room toward what's most likely to lead them where they want to be.

[from_the_outside]

She laughs in surprised delight as he sweeps her up into his arms. She twines her own around his neck and curls into him, her slippers falling off her feet, and feels like she’s in a movie.

“Good instincts,” she grins, and presses kisses below his ear, along the line of muscle at the back of his neck. “Right in one.”

[nerves_of_ice]

He holds her closer, a shiver running through him at the feel of her mouth on his neck. Bucky strides through her apartment, carrying her like the precious treasure she is, and stops just inside her bedroom.

He kisses her again, and again, as he slowly lowers her to the ground, letting her slide along his body until she's standing.

[from_the_outside]

It’s dark in her room and she considers turning on the small beside lamp just so she can see him clearly, unwilling to lose any of this to the dark.

Even when her toes touch the ground, she feels like she’s floating. Sharon stretches up to kiss him again, breathless.

“You’re unbelievable,” she tells him. “In all the best ways.”

[nerves_of_ice]

"Probably some of the worst ones, too." His hands are shaking when he frames her face. "But I'll do everything in my power never to hurt you, Sharon. In any way."

[from_the_outside]

“The best ways,” she repeats, and turns her head to press a kiss to first one trembling hand, then the other, not really caring which is metal and which flesh, her lips gentle against his fingers.

“I know. I feel safe with you, Bucky.”

[nerves_of_ice]

"You are." He'd told her before that she brings him to his knees, and now he shows it. Bucky leans in to kiss her, then kisses the hollow of her throat, then her heart, as he slowly kneels in front of her.

He slides his hands down along her body to her waist and raises the hem of her shirt to press a kiss to her belly as he breathes warmth along her skin.

[from_the_outside]

She trembles as he kneels before her, as he traces along the lines of her body, and gasps when he lifts her shirt to press his mouth to the soft, sensitive skin of her belly. "Bucky," she murmurs, threading her fingers through his hair. It's so silky and gorgeous, she can't stop touching it or him, her hands flitting to his shoulders and up along the back of his neck.

"I've spent a month thinking about how it felt when you bandaged me up. Wishing you'd touch me again."

[nerves_of_ice]

He tips his head back to smile up at her. "I have a few memories of my own from that," he tells her. "Will you take this shirt off, too? You don't know how hard it was for me to not let you see how you affected me."

He kisses her belly again, lingering this time, and murmurs, "I'm a weapon, not dead."

[from_the_outside]

Sharon laughs, breathless, and reaches for her hem to strip her shirt off in one long fluid movement, dropping it on the floor without a thought for where it might land.

"I was so annoyed at you," she teases. "I figured I may as well annoy you too."

[nerves_of_ice]

"I know you were." He kisses her again, tasting her skin, and starts to work his way upward, smoothing his hands over the curve of her hips and up her back.

[from_the_outside]

"But I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one who was affected," she laughs, even as her breath stutters in her throat as he traces his way back up along her body. She's a shivering wreck beneath his hands and his mouth already, and they've barely even gotten started.

[nerves_of_ice]

He finds the clasp of her bra, undoes it, and peels it away as he tells her, "I was tempted to kiss every cut, every bruise. Will you let me now?"

He touches his lips to her side, over her ribs, gentle as a breath. "I think I remember each one that marked you."

[from_the_outside]

"Jesus," she breathes, unable to believe the things he's saying. It can't possibly be real. "Yes."

It's almost helpless as he brings her back to that kitchen in the rented flat, back to the simmering warmth she'd pretended she couldn't feel. "God, Bucky, you can – touch me wherever you want. However you want. I can't believe you – "

Remember. Feel this way. Want her like this. It's all impossible.

[nerves_of_ice]

He kisses her side again, sweet and lingering, then coaxes her to turn around as he makes his way across her back, covering her skin with kisses. Slowly, he gets to his feet, and as he starts kissing her shoulders, he finds her hips with his hands and pulls her back against his body, then strokes up her belly with his fingers.

[from_the_outside]

She turns like she's in a dream, her eyes fluttering shut with each brush of his his mouth against her skin. "Wow," she murmurs, shivering more and more after every kiss as he tracks his way across the remembered marks left from the fight.

"I might not even mind getting bruised if this is what I get after."

[nerves_of_ice]

"How about I do this for you anyway, and you don't get hurt?" he suggests, kissing her shoulder at the side of her neck as he slides his hands up to cup her breasts, teasing her nipples with his fingertips, both metal and skin.

[from_the_outside]

"That seems really optimistic of you, all things considered," she says, then gasps as his fingers stroke over her, her nipples stiffening beneath the twin touches, one warm, one cool. She lets her head fall back against his, leaning her weight back against his chest.

Sharon slides her hands up along his forearms, shivering. "But it sounds like a pretty good deal to me."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Me, too," he murmurs, kissing the side of her neck now, letting her head rest against his shoulder as he tries to coax another gasp from her, more shivers. He cups the sweet weight of her breasts in his hands and circles his thumbs around the tips, then pinches lightly.

[from_the_outside]

"Baby," she whispers, and moans at the light pinch as it shocks pleasure through her, leaves her shuddering and gasping as her nipples harden at his touch, sensitive and tender.

Sharon rolls her head to press her nose and mouth into his hair, breathing him in with each rapid lift of her chest, arching her back to press into his hands.