Leipzig AU: the choices we make

[nerves_of_ice]

It's a month after Thessaloniki when he slips the unmarked, unstamped postcard in the mail at Sharon Carter's apartment.

(It had taken him the entire month to decide to reach out. He'd spent most of the time burying himself in his self-imposed work and not allowing himself to think about anything other than the mission. Eventually, he'd realized that it wasn't working, and that there was only one way to find out what he now needs to know, even if he can't admit even to himself exactly why he does.)

Of course there's always the chance she'll think it's just an advertisement and ignore it. If she does, he'll try again with something a little more obvious before deciding she's not interested in reconnecting. Still, he thinks she's clever enough to catch it, and to decode the message, which isn't that subtle when it comes down to it: time, place, location.

It takes far less than a minute to pick the lock on the mailbox security panel - two seconds, maybe three, and he's able to pull it open, drop the card on top of her mail, and secure it once more.

Bucky makes his way from her apartment back down the Berlin street quickly and quietly, cap pulled down to hide his face, and disappears into the crowd.

Comments

[from_the_outside]

She smiles back, without even a hint of the sharp-eyed and sharper-tongued agent who'd once held him at gunpoint.

"Good," she murmurs. "Still wanna see me again?"

[nerves_of_ice]

"Yes," he answers, and is grateful that he's fought the conditioning enough over the last couple of years to be able to say this. "I do. Very much. If you'll let me."

[from_the_outside]

Her smile only grows, soft and pleased as it dimples her cheeks and creases her eyes.

"Good," she says again, and drops a kiss onto his chest. "I want that, too."

[nerves_of_ice]

"That makes me a lucky man," he murmurs. Bucky curves his right hand over her shoulder, idly running his thumb back and forth over her skin.

"Luckier than I deserve, for sure."

[from_the_outside]

"Disagree," she murmurs, and smiles again, lazy and sweet, at his touch. "I think you deserve all kinds of good things. It makes me happy to think maybe I can give you a few."

Companionship, as much as possible with his status and hers. A partner to work with. A hand to reach out to. Arms to hold him. "Nobody's ever swept off my feet like you did tonight."

[nerves_of_ice]

"You already have," he murmurs, watching her, enchanted all over again.

[from_the_outside]

She studies him, fond and pleased. "Good," she tells him, her voice quiet. "Get used to it."

[nerves_of_ice]

A huff of breath escapes him, suspiciously close to a laugh. "Yes, ma'am," he teases.

[from_the_outside]

"Two of my favorite words," she teases, but her good mood and slowly-growing bubble of happiness can't fully counteract a long week and the late hours and the exhaustion of what they've gotten up to: she stifles a yawn into her own forearm.

"Sorry," she murmurs. "Believe me, I'm not bored."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Never crossed my mind." He runs his fingers through her hair, untangling the wavy locks.

"Want to get some sleep?"

[from_the_outside]

"Mm."

It's neither agreement or outright rejection; her eyelids are heavy but she keeps blinking them back open to look at him. "Yes. But I hate that it'll mean tonight's over. Not a fan of that."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Hm. True," he murmurs, stroking a gentle hand along her back. "But there's morning to follow."

Bucky leans up for a quick kiss. "Curl up here for a moment, okay, baby? Let me bring you a glass of water before you fall asleep."

[from_the_outside]

She makes a slightly sulky, unconvinced sound, but kisses him back and smiles as she shifts off him and into the bed again.

"Wow," she teases. "Gentleman. Now that's a new one for me."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Well, I do what I can," he teases, and keeps any uncomplimentary thoughts about her previous partners to himself. Bucky pads out of the room, and in short order finds the bathroom to quickly clean up a bit, then circles through the living room to collect their wineglasses and take them to the kitchen - and check the door locks and window security on the way - before picking up the promised water and returning to rejoin Sharon.

"Here you go, baby."

[from_the_outside]

Sharon, who had been dozing, blinks back awake and shifts to make room for him in the bed and accepts the glass of water with a smile. "Thanks," she says, and takes a long drink, then sets the glass on her bedside table and settles herself beneath the sheets, curled on her side as she watches him.

[nerves_of_ice]

"You're welcome." He settles beside her, lying on his back rather than on his left arm, knowing from all-too-bitter experience the trouble he'll have if he tries to sleep on it that way. He turns his head to watch her in turn.

"Hi."

[from_the_outside]

"Hi."

She watches him as he settles in, and realizes her tactical error, unused as she is to having someone in this bed with her. "If we switch sides," she offers, "I can come a little closer. I just don't think your left arm will be all that comfortable – no offense."

[nerves_of_ice]

"None taken. I can't imagine it would."

He rolls to his feet and comes around to the other side of the bed rather than lifting her across him, tempting though it might be.

[from_the_outside]

Sharon pushes herself across in a rustle of sheets and settles into the spot he'd vacated – though not without casting an appreciative glance at him as he moves, fully naked, around her bed.

She purses her lips in a brief, teasing wolf-whistle and pushes back the covers for him.

[nerves_of_ice]

Amused, he climbs in and settles by her once more - on his back again, this time, to give her the chance to come closer as she'd mentioned.

[from_the_outside]

She shifts closer to him and drapes an arm over his stomach, settling her head in the curve of his shoulder.

"This okay?" she asks, her voice low and drowsy.

[nerves_of_ice]

"More than. Here." He shifts enough to slip his right arm around her, drawing her in as she nestles against him, her head on his shoulder.

"Sleep, baby. I'll be here when you wake."

[from_the_outside]

Sharon makes a soft, sleepy noise and molds herself against him. "Mm," is quiet in the dark. "Have a good sleep," she mumbles, and smudges a kiss against his skin.

"See you in the morning."

[nerves_of_ice]

He kisses her hair again and holds her close as she drifts off. He himself doesn't dare sleep other than lightly, given the nightmares that are almost certain to come.

He won't let them disturb her, or frighten her, or worse. He won't. Bucky breathes deep, and sets himself to doze until she wakes.

[from_the_outside]

Tired as she is, it takes a little while for her to drift off, simply due to the novelty of sleeping tucked in against someone. She thinks with drowsy amusement of Polygyros and the bed they'd shared then, and is surprised when she blinks her eyes open into the middle of the dark night.

She mumbles an apology and shuffles out of bed long enough to visit the bathroom and have some more water, then comes back and marvels at being able to slip back into the sheets beside him, to curl next to him, to fall asleep listening to the steady sound of his breathing.

She doesn't stir again until the sun begins painting the curtains of her apartment, lightening the air inside, and even then she just nuzzles her face into the pillow and pretends it isn't happening.