Leipzig AU: the choices we make

[nerves_of_ice]

It's a month after Thessaloniki when he slips the unmarked, unstamped postcard in the mail at Sharon Carter's apartment.

(It had taken him the entire month to decide to reach out. He'd spent most of the time burying himself in his self-imposed work and not allowing himself to think about anything other than the mission. Eventually, he'd realized that it wasn't working, and that there was only one way to find out what he now needs to know, even if he can't admit even to himself exactly why he does.)

Of course there's always the chance she'll think it's just an advertisement and ignore it. If she does, he'll try again with something a little more obvious before deciding she's not interested in reconnecting. Still, he thinks she's clever enough to catch it, and to decode the message, which isn't that subtle when it comes down to it: time, place, location.

It takes far less than a minute to pick the lock on the mailbox security panel - two seconds, maybe three, and he's able to pull it open, drop the card on top of her mail, and secure it once more.

Bucky makes his way from her apartment back down the Berlin street quickly and quietly, cap pulled down to hide his face, and disappears into the crowd.

Comments

[nerves_of_ice]

"Good. Fair's fair." He teases her earlobe with his tongue before kissing a path along the side of her throat as he rocks with her. He's careful not to leave marks - she doesn't need the questions that she might get - but each kiss is tender and lingering and thorough.

[from_the_outside]

“Yes,” she murmurs, tipping her head so he has as much space as he needs, so he has as much of her skin, flushed and pink and tender, as he wants.

The first rush had dated her desperation; now she luxuriates in him, in the slow build like adding log after log to a fire, like water on the simmer. “Please.”

[nerves_of_ice]

He makes a soft sound against her throat and moves further down, to the spot at the junction of neck and shoulder that she'd seemed to like so much before. Bucky focuses his attention there, gentle pressure and suction and kiss after kiss.

[from_the_outside]

She moans, soft, and shivers in his embrace as he focuses attention on the sensitive spot he'd found before, just at the curve of her neck. It sends heat scudding through her, lightening lacing through her blood.

In return, she bites lightly at his shoulder, then laves the spot with a kiss. Her breath comes fast and hard as she rolls her hips up into him, so full of this sweet ache that she doesn't know how she can stand it.

[nerves_of_ice]

A rough gasp escapes him as he feels her teeth and the sweet kiss to follow, and he draws more sharply on her skin than he'd meant. He soothes it with another kiss and reaches down along her body, following her curves, then tips his head back to kiss her mouth and shifts his angle, cupping his hands under her hips to support her as he drives deeper, and a little faster as well.

[from_the_outside]

"Bucky – "

Sharon unwinds her legs from his hips and sets her feet on the mattress to give herself leverage, meeting his new angle with a groan and a rock of her hips. "Please," she begs when this kiss breaks, with no idea what she's asking for: more, deeper, harder, faster. More. Anything he wants to give her.

She kisses him again, desperation lacing back through her with every roll of his hips and press of his body to hers.

[nerves_of_ice]

She's bracing herself now, so he shifts again, propping himself up with his left arm as he kisses her with all the passion he's feeling. With his right hand he finds the sensitive bud at her center and circles it, then flicks it with his thumb and presses sharply, stroking her inside and out as he presses deep inside her. Over and over, faster and more, responding to her plea and her cries with all of himself.

[from_the_outside]

It's not long before she's almost totally incoherent, utterly lost in his touch and the feel of him in her and against her, filling her in every possible way. She loses track of the number of times she moans his name or breathless pleas until words are beyond her and all she has are soft, wild cries as they stoke the fire burning between them.

This time she doesn't go up all at once, without warning: it uncoils inside her and then expands like a dying star. Her head falls back and she shakes with the force of it, every muscle tightening, every nerve alight with pleasure.

[nerves_of_ice]

He rocks with her through it as the pleasure takes her, as she tightens around him and shudders, barely managing to hold himself back until she starts to come down from the highest peak. Only then does he let himself go as well, crying out a raw, wild sound as the storm takes him and he finds his release.

Gasping for breath, he drapes himself over her and draws her into his arms again, holding her against him, making sure that enough of his weight is to the side so that he doesn't smother her.

[from_the_outside]

Breathless, feeling totally boneless, sweat-slicked and sated, she wraps her arms around him and pushes her face into the crook of his neck as her chest lifts and falls. His weight and warmth brings her slowly back into her body, and she makes a soft, contented sound – or as much as she can when she's still panting for air.

[nerves_of_ice]

He turns his head and kisses her hair, then her temple, then shifts so he's lying more on his back and she's with him, her weight and the shape of her against him a warm delight to his battered spirit.

"Doing okay, baby?"

[from_the_outside]

Sharon huffs a breathless laugh and wriggles until she's lying more on him than the bed, folding her arms to rest her chin on his chest.

"Better than I have in years," she says, with total sincerity, and reaches one lazy finger to brush a loose lock of hair away from his face. "How about you?"

[nerves_of_ice]

He smiles up at her, and it's fond and warm both.

"Same," he agrees.

[from_the_outside]

She smiles back, without even a hint of the sharp-eyed and sharper-tongued agent who'd once held him at gunpoint.

"Good," she murmurs. "Still wanna see me again?"

[nerves_of_ice]

"Yes," he answers, and is grateful that he's fought the conditioning enough over the last couple of years to be able to say this. "I do. Very much. If you'll let me."

[from_the_outside]

Her smile only grows, soft and pleased as it dimples her cheeks and creases her eyes.

"Good," she says again, and drops a kiss onto his chest. "I want that, too."

[nerves_of_ice]

"That makes me a lucky man," he murmurs. Bucky curves his right hand over her shoulder, idly running his thumb back and forth over her skin.

"Luckier than I deserve, for sure."

[from_the_outside]

"Disagree," she murmurs, and smiles again, lazy and sweet, at his touch. "I think you deserve all kinds of good things. It makes me happy to think maybe I can give you a few."

Companionship, as much as possible with his status and hers. A partner to work with. A hand to reach out to. Arms to hold him. "Nobody's ever swept off my feet like you did tonight."

[nerves_of_ice]

"You already have," he murmurs, watching her, enchanted all over again.

[from_the_outside]

She studies him, fond and pleased. "Good," she tells him, her voice quiet. "Get used to it."

[nerves_of_ice]

A huff of breath escapes him, suspiciously close to a laugh. "Yes, ma'am," he teases.

[from_the_outside]

"Two of my favorite words," she teases, but her good mood and slowly-growing bubble of happiness can't fully counteract a long week and the late hours and the exhaustion of what they've gotten up to: she stifles a yawn into her own forearm.

"Sorry," she murmurs. "Believe me, I'm not bored."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Never crossed my mind." He runs his fingers through her hair, untangling the wavy locks.

"Want to get some sleep?"

[from_the_outside]

"Mm."

It's neither agreement or outright rejection; her eyelids are heavy but she keeps blinking them back open to look at him. "Yes. But I hate that it'll mean tonight's over. Not a fan of that."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Hm. True," he murmurs, stroking a gentle hand along her back. "But there's morning to follow."

Bucky leans up for a quick kiss. "Curl up here for a moment, okay, baby? Let me bring you a glass of water before you fall asleep."