Leipzig AU: the choices we make

[nerves_of_ice]

It's a month after Thessaloniki when he slips the unmarked, unstamped postcard in the mail at Sharon Carter's apartment.

(It had taken him the entire month to decide to reach out. He'd spent most of the time burying himself in his self-imposed work and not allowing himself to think about anything other than the mission. Eventually, he'd realized that it wasn't working, and that there was only one way to find out what he now needs to know, even if he can't admit even to himself exactly why he does.)

Of course there's always the chance she'll think it's just an advertisement and ignore it. If she does, he'll try again with something a little more obvious before deciding she's not interested in reconnecting. Still, he thinks she's clever enough to catch it, and to decode the message, which isn't that subtle when it comes down to it: time, place, location.

It takes far less than a minute to pick the lock on the mailbox security panel - two seconds, maybe three, and he's able to pull it open, drop the card on top of her mail, and secure it once more.

Bucky makes his way from her apartment back down the Berlin street quickly and quietly, cap pulled down to hide his face, and disappears into the crowd.

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[nerves_of_ice]

He returns her kiss and follows it with another, then studies her face as if memorizing it.

“Tomorrow’s Saturday,” he murmurs. “Did you have plans?”

[from_the_outside]

She shakes her head with a soft rustle of her hair against the pillow, watching him back.

"Not really," she says, quiet. Her workdays are so busy and so long that when she can relax on a weekend, that's often all she wants to do. "Why?"

[nerves_of_ice]

“Trying to figure out if I need to leave before dawn or not,” he tells her, quietly. “Although it’s mostly up to you.”

[from_the_outside]

"You don't," she says, soft but insistent, and her hand firms for a moment on his chest. "Stay as long as you want. I like having you here."

She studies him, drinking him in as well as she can in the dim light. "The next two weeks are going to feel too damn long."

[nerves_of_ice]

“You sure? I don’t want to wear out my welcome.”

He puts his hand over hers. “Get a safe phone. I’ll text you.”

Still, she’s not wrong.

[from_the_outside]

"I'm sure. And I will."

Which will be something, at least. Just not this: him warm and real and solid beside her.

[nerves_of_ice]

He squeezes her fingers. “Don’t think about it now,” he says, soft and low in the dimness of the room. Easy to be unheard, if she wants it that way.

“It helps.”

[from_the_outside]

Sharon smiles, slight. "Smart," she says, just as quiet, then lets a little teasing slip into her tone.

"Some distraction might help."

[nerves_of_ice]

“Distraction, huh?” He grins, quick and bright, and rolls them over with one easy move - supporting her weight as he does so that her ribs won’t be strained.

Bucky leans down to kiss her, gentle at first, but quickly growing deeper and more passionate.

[from_the_outside]

Sharon laughs and wraps one arm around his back, her free hand in his hair as he kisses her down into the pillow, but soon enough her amusement becomes soft wanting sounds as he kisses her over and over.

[nerves_of_ice]

He runs his right hand along her side, her hip, back up, in long, slow caresses as he keeps kissing her. His body’s already recovered, and he shifts his hips a little, teasing her without pressing her.

[from_the_outside]

It's another, pleasant surprise – but then, considering the stuff that HYDRA pumped into him, maybe she shouldn't be surprised at all. Sharon makes a soft sound and shifts beneath him, letting him slot between her hips as she winds her leg around his, her hands tracking over the nape of his neck, down along his back, over the curve of muscle at his rear and back up again.

[nerves_of_ice]

Still kissing her, he brings his hand down again, stopping to caress the curve of her breast along the way before he moves to her hip, then down along the crease of her thigh to circle and tweak the bud of nerves before he slips his fingers against her, checking to make sure she's ready, that she wants this, before he rolls his hips and presses in.

[from_the_outside]

The low, pleased sound she makes muffled itself into his mouth as he kisses her, as she rocks her hips up to meet him. She wraps her legs around his hips and draws him in as close and deep as she can, her hands gentle against his head and the back of his neck.

[nerves_of_ice]

"Distracted yet?" he teases, rolling his hips and pressing deep, then drawing back - all with a deliberate controlled pace meant to tantalize. Bucky kisses along her cheek back to her ear and whispers, "You're so beautiful, baby."

[from_the_outside]

“From what?” she teases, playing along.

But she is, of course. It’s impossible to worry about the next two weeks - or even tomorrow morning - when he’s making her feel so good. She shivers at his warm breath on her cheek and ear, at his sweet words, and wraps her arms around him, clinging to him as he moves and slowly sets her aflame all over again. “Baby,” she murmurs back, “you drive me crazy.”

[nerves_of_ice]

"Good. Fair's fair." He teases her earlobe with his tongue before kissing a path along the side of her throat as he rocks with her. He's careful not to leave marks - she doesn't need the questions that she might get - but each kiss is tender and lingering and thorough.

[from_the_outside]

“Yes,” she murmurs, tipping her head so he has as much space as he needs, so he has as much of her skin, flushed and pink and tender, as he wants.

The first rush had dated her desperation; now she luxuriates in him, in the slow build like adding log after log to a fire, like water on the simmer. “Please.”

[nerves_of_ice]

He makes a soft sound against her throat and moves further down, to the spot at the junction of neck and shoulder that she'd seemed to like so much before. Bucky focuses his attention there, gentle pressure and suction and kiss after kiss.

[from_the_outside]

She moans, soft, and shivers in his embrace as he focuses attention on the sensitive spot he'd found before, just at the curve of her neck. It sends heat scudding through her, lightening lacing through her blood.

In return, she bites lightly at his shoulder, then laves the spot with a kiss. Her breath comes fast and hard as she rolls her hips up into him, so full of this sweet ache that she doesn't know how she can stand it.

[nerves_of_ice]

A rough gasp escapes him as he feels her teeth and the sweet kiss to follow, and he draws more sharply on her skin than he'd meant. He soothes it with another kiss and reaches down along her body, following her curves, then tips his head back to kiss her mouth and shifts his angle, cupping his hands under her hips to support her as he drives deeper, and a little faster as well.

[from_the_outside]

"Bucky – "

Sharon unwinds her legs from his hips and sets her feet on the mattress to give herself leverage, meeting his new angle with a groan and a rock of her hips. "Please," she begs when this kiss breaks, with no idea what she's asking for: more, deeper, harder, faster. More. Anything he wants to give her.

She kisses him again, desperation lacing back through her with every roll of his hips and press of his body to hers.

[nerves_of_ice]

She's bracing herself now, so he shifts again, propping himself up with his left arm as he kisses her with all the passion he's feeling. With his right hand he finds the sensitive bud at her center and circles it, then flicks it with his thumb and presses sharply, stroking her inside and out as he presses deep inside her. Over and over, faster and more, responding to her plea and her cries with all of himself.

[from_the_outside]

It's not long before she's almost totally incoherent, utterly lost in his touch and the feel of him in her and against her, filling her in every possible way. She loses track of the number of times she moans his name or breathless pleas until words are beyond her and all she has are soft, wild cries as they stoke the fire burning between them.

This time she doesn't go up all at once, without warning: it uncoils inside her and then expands like a dying star. Her head falls back and she shakes with the force of it, every muscle tightening, every nerve alight with pleasure.

[nerves_of_ice]

He rocks with her through it as the pleasure takes her, as she tightens around him and shudders, barely managing to hold himself back until she starts to come down from the highest peak. Only then does he let himself go as well, crying out a raw, wild sound as the storm takes him and he finds his release.

Gasping for breath, he drapes himself over her and draws her into his arms again, holding her against him, making sure that enough of his weight is to the side so that he doesn't smother her.