Leipzig AU: the choices we make

[nerves_of_ice]

It's a month after Thessaloniki when he slips the unmarked, unstamped postcard in the mail at Sharon Carter's apartment.

(It had taken him the entire month to decide to reach out. He'd spent most of the time burying himself in his self-imposed work and not allowing himself to think about anything other than the mission. Eventually, he'd realized that it wasn't working, and that there was only one way to find out what he now needs to know, even if he can't admit even to himself exactly why he does.)

Of course there's always the chance she'll think it's just an advertisement and ignore it. If she does, he'll try again with something a little more obvious before deciding she's not interested in reconnecting. Still, he thinks she's clever enough to catch it, and to decode the message, which isn't that subtle when it comes down to it: time, place, location.

It takes far less than a minute to pick the lock on the mailbox security panel - two seconds, maybe three, and he's able to pull it open, drop the card on top of her mail, and secure it once more.

Bucky makes his way from her apartment back down the Berlin street quickly and quietly, cap pulled down to hide his face, and disappears into the crowd.

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[from_the_outside]

That moan hits her like a grenade and she tightens her fingers, experimenting with a light pull at his hair as she kisses him again, deep and sweet.

[nerves_of_ice]

A deep shudder runs through him and he tips his head back into the pull, but not so far that he can't keep kissing her, wild and wanting and holding her close against him.

[from_the_outside]

She smiles and kisses him again. "I like that, too," she tells him in a pleased, amused murmur, and runs both hands up into his hair as she pushes up and over him, her elbows bracketing his head as she kisses him over and over again.

[nerves_of_ice]

"Sharon," he breathes, between kisses. "Baby." Desire is a simmering thing within him, and he wants nothing more than to be closer to her, as close as possible, for her not to stop.

[from_the_outside]

"I'm here," she tells him, and presses it like a promise into his mouth with a kiss, into his skin. "You have me."

Hook, line, sinker. She places kiss after kiss against his mouth, breathes him in, tips her head to kiss along his throat as she skims her hand down his side to his hip. "You've got me, baby."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Please." It's the only word he can manage, fire tracing over his skin wherever she touches him, sensation blinding and desperately needed. How long has it been since anyone touched him like this? He doesn't know, can't remember. "Please."

[from_the_outside]

"Yes," she promises. "Anything. Whatever you want. Let me give it to you, baby – "

She trails her fingers over the shivering skin of his thigh, then lightly up so she can wrap them gently around his length, stroking slow as she looks down into his face.

[nerves_of_ice]

His back arches and his hips roll without his intent, an incoherent sound escaping him at the feel of her hand, the way she's touching him. His head falls back and he has the presence of mind, just barely, to remove his left arm from around her as his left hand clutches tight into a fist in the sheets.

[from_the_outside]

Sharon leans on her elbow to look down into his face, her hair falling in a veil over one shoulder as she watches him, utterly disbelieving that it's her hand, her touch, that's doing this to him.

"Yes," she whispers, and moves her hand down to lightly draw the tip of her finger up between his legs before she wraps around him again.

[nerves_of_ice]

"Sharon, god--" Every muscle in his body is strung tight as a bow as he pushes up again into her hand. She's trying to drive him out of his mind, must be, and it's working.

[from_the_outside]

She kisses along his throat, then down over the rise of his collarbone, working her way slowly along his body as she strokes up and down, squeeze and lightening her grip to see what he likes best, running her thumb over him and around him. "Bucky," she murmurs, into his skin, and sets her mouth over one nipple, drawing lightly up on the skin, then setting the edges of her teeth very lightly against him.

[nerves_of_ice]

He moans aloud and gives up on words, answering her curious investigation with the way he moves, the shifts in his breathing, the sounds he makes as she strokes him and kisses him and sends him spiraling with sensation.

[from_the_outside]

He arches and shifts and moves beneath her touch and her mouth, and each moan sends sparks cascading through her.

Sharon savors a few moments here, licking lightly over his stiff, sensitive nipple before drawing it up into her mouth, then works her way down along the ladder of his tensing stomach muscles, pressing a kiss to the soft skin just below his belly button as she moves inexorably lower.

[nerves_of_ice]

He cradles her head with his right hand and strokes his thumb over her cheek as he leans up on his left elbow. Bucky looks down at her with eyes gone black with need, his breath rough and ragged.

[from_the_outside]

Sharon turns her head to kiss his palm, then his fingertips, catching one lightly between her teeth and licking at it the way she'd licked the honey off her own fingers earlier.

"Baby," she murmurs, deeply, sweetly fond, then returns to kissing along the cut of muscle that angles towards his groin, finally shifting herself between his legs so she can replace her fingers with her mouth, taking him deep in a single smooth motion.

[nerves_of_ice]

He feels his eyes roll back in his head as she takes him in, and his head falls back to the pillow with a groan as his back arches sharply.

She's sweet and giving and her mouth is warm and soft and it's all he can do to keep his hips from bucking, pressing them flat to the bed and trying not to move.

[from_the_outside]

Sharon hums around him, curling one hand at his hip to coax him to move, if he wants, while the other slides between his legs to stroke the sensitive spot between them as she experiments with shallow and deep, her tongue firm or light against him.

Each shift and moan directs her as she searches for the things he likes best, the ones that will make him feel as good as he's made her feel already.

[nerves_of_ice]

He's not going to be able to last anywhere near as long as he wants, not with how he's been holding himself back already, not with how long it's been, not with how she's driving him insane. Bucky tangles his right hand in her hair, drawing his fingers through it and cradling the back of her head as she moves with him, trying to let her know how close he is to the edge.

[from_the_outside]

She can feels the faint tremor running through him, is fascinated by the play of his muscles clutching beneath his skin. That shaking touch of his fingers to her head is a message, she knows, and it's one she elects to ignore: he'd already set her on fire, burned her utterly to the ground.

It's only fair she return the favor, so she moves faster, hollowing her cheeks as she draws him in, as she traces light circles with her fingertip, ruthless in her plan to drag him straight over the edge.

[nerves_of_ice]

It happens quickly, as pleasure like white fire lances up his spine and his body locks, a hoarse cry escaping him as he shudders in the throes of ecstasy beneath her touch. Lost in her, Bucky gives himself up to her, nothing held back.

[from_the_outside]

She stays with him until the shivers have subsided, then kisses the inside of his thigh and pulls herself back up along his side, settling once more with her forehead against his temple, letting her fingers trace over his chest.

Sharon breathes out and smiles, pleased, as she drapes an arm over him.

[nerves_of_ice]

He turns his head and kisses her, slow and sweet, then tucks her more closely against him, holding on.

[from_the_outside]

"Bucky," she murmurs, and winds one leg with his, pressing herself comfortably against his side, letting these feelings storm through her, warm and as undeniable as they are impossible.

Already she hates the thought of morning, of him slipping away again to who knows where, of two weeks without him –

But there are still hours left until morning.

[nerves_of_ice]

"Sharon," he answers, soft and low. Bucky threads one hand into her hair and rests the other at her waist.

"Are you warm enough?"

[from_the_outside]

"Plenty," she promises, relaxed and lazy in his arms. He throws heat like a furnace and she curls into him, savoring it and him in equal measure.

"Are you comfortable?"