Leipzig AU: the choices we make

[nerves_of_ice]

It's a month after Thessaloniki when he slips the unmarked, unstamped postcard in the mail at Sharon Carter's apartment.

(It had taken him the entire month to decide to reach out. He'd spent most of the time burying himself in his self-imposed work and not allowing himself to think about anything other than the mission. Eventually, he'd realized that it wasn't working, and that there was only one way to find out what he now needs to know, even if he can't admit even to himself exactly why he does.)

Of course there's always the chance she'll think it's just an advertisement and ignore it. If she does, he'll try again with something a little more obvious before deciding she's not interested in reconnecting. Still, he thinks she's clever enough to catch it, and to decode the message, which isn't that subtle when it comes down to it: time, place, location.

It takes far less than a minute to pick the lock on the mailbox security panel - two seconds, maybe three, and he's able to pull it open, drop the card on top of her mail, and secure it once more.

Bucky makes his way from her apartment back down the Berlin street quickly and quietly, cap pulled down to hide his face, and disappears into the crowd.

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[nerves_of_ice]

The thought crosses his mind that this isn't real, that he's back on ice and dreaming - except that he hadn't dreamed while he was frozen, and so that can't be the case.

They move back and forth across the dance floor together as the music plays on, as the soft ebb and flow of conversation among the few other patrons in the bar passes them by, and as far as he's concerned they could keep dancing forever.

Eventually, however, the band signals for a fifteen-minute break, and Bucky leads Sharon back to their table. "I didn't even ask how long you could stay before your train," he says, rueful. "I didn't think about it until just now."

[from_the_outside]

From the look on her face, it's clear she hadn't thought about it until just now, either.

"I don't even know what time it is," she says, and digs through her tote bag for her abandoned phone. "Just past eleven... the last train's in about an hour."

Which is... too early. She's not ready to say goodnight. She's not ready for this jewel of a night to end.

[nerves_of_ice]

"So we have a little while yet," he murmurs, watching her. "If you want."

[from_the_outside]

What she wants is to bring him back to Berlin with her. What she wants is to continue this evening with more wine or some coffee and sway with him around her little kitchen. What she wants is for the next hour to slow down to a crawl, to wrap them in a bubble of time without passing.

"Not long enough," she tells him. "But it'll have to do."

[nerves_of_ice]

“Maybe it’s not too early to ask, then.” Bucky reaches for her hand and holds it lightly in his.

“May I see you again?”

[from_the_outside]

You'll see me again in two weeks, she almost teases, but he's being so sincere and she knows that's not what he means. "Yes," she answers, soft, and curls her fingers around his.

"I'd like that a lot."

[nerves_of_ice]

He smiles, just a little, but it’s warm and real. “Can’t wait.”

[from_the_outside]

"This time I'm reasonably sure I'll recognize a date when I'm on it," she says, trying to tease even as her heart turns over in her chest.

The thing she doesn't get is: why? Why her? They worked well and easily together but she's also been an enormous pain in his ass – the Sharon Carter special.

But maybe she's not the only one who keeps running over and over those last moments in Thessaloniki.

[nerves_of_ice]

“I’ll try to make it clearer next time,” he says. “Maybe by bringing flowers.”

[from_the_outside]

She has to smile at that. "I do like flowers," she agrees, and gently laces her fingers with his.

"What about you? I guess you're not catching a train."

[nerves_of_ice]

“Hadn’t planned to,” he agrees. “But don’t worry. I’ve got ways to get around, and somewhere to stay when I need.”

[from_the_outside]

She narrows her eyes at him. "You're not sleeping on a roof somewhere, are you?"

[nerves_of_ice]

“Some roofs are very comfortable, I’ll have you know.” But he squeezes her hand, gently, and says, “But no. Not usually, anyway.”

[from_the_outside]

She makes a face at him that says you're kidding, right?

"What about tonight?"

[nerves_of_ice]

He just gives her a bland look in response.

“Hadn’t planned to,” he says again.

It’s even true. The motorcycle he’s using is parked a distance away, and there are many places he’s located outside the city where he can set up an impromptu camp. He’s been moving between them for a week.

[from_the_outside]

Ah, there it is, that bland, practiced I'm not giving away shit look of his she remembers so well from their time in Greece. She gives him a skeptical glance, but nods.

"Okay. Good."

[nerves_of_ice]

“You don’t need to worry about me,” he says, gently. “I’m doing okay, Sharon. I promise.”

[from_the_outside]

"Disagree," she says, with spirit. "I'm pretty sure I do need to worry about you, and even if I don't need to, I will anyway."

There's one swallow left of her martini and she tips it into her mouth, giving him an arch look. "And anyway, if you've got your own transportation, maybe I should just get a ride back to Berlin with you."

[nerves_of_ice]

He stares at her blankly for a moment.

“…it’s a motorcycle,” he says, finally.

[from_the_outside]

"I could hang on," she says, amused, half teasing and half not.

Although, honestly, if he doesn't want her doing aerials with mending ribs, he probably won't be so keen on her riding a motorcycle without a helmet.

[nerves_of_ice]

“You could,” he says, slowly - then gives her a quick, teasing smile. “Nice to know you’ve got a backup option, right?”

[from_the_outside]

"I always like a plan B," she agrees, grinning right back at him.

Does she always have one? No. But they're a nice-to-have.

[nerves_of_ice]

The jazz trio begins to file back in from their break and starts setting back up as Bucky tells her, “I hear they can be useful.”

[from_the_outside]

"Rumor has it."

She tips her head towards the band, her smile crooking. "What do you think? Got a few more left in you? Or did you have some other plan for these last forty-five minutes or so?"

[nerves_of_ice]

“I didn’t,” he admits, honestly. “Unless you’d rather walk around for a bit. It’s a nice night.”