[Leipzig AU] a means to a necessary end

[nerves_of_ice]

It's a long flight from Berlin to Novosibirsk and the secret location far beyond it, even in a Quinjet. They spend the time planning and coordinating. Bucky describes the structure and security of the facility itself as best he remembers. Tony calls up plans and blueprints from god knows where and throws them into the middle of the plane for all to see. They're not the same as what Bucky remembers, they figure out fairly quickly, but they're better than nothing.

Tony also takes over the back of the plane and snaps at anyone who comes close, doing something that involves shifting screens and models of buildings and wave patterns and a human skull, and the eventually the low humming grind of a machine. Soon after, he stalks back up to the front of the plane and shoves a set of custom-fabricated earplugs at Bucky, who stares at them and then at Tony.

"Noise-cancelling all the way to total sound blackout. Tap the end of the earpiece to deafen yourself," Tony informs him. "Last thing we need's for you to be his puppet." Bucky starts to stammer a thanks, but Tony growls something under his breath and stalks back to the back of the plane again to work on something else. Steve catches Bucky's eye and shakes his head, and Bucky decides to leave well enough alone.

Sam advises everyone to rest in shifts; Bucky knows he's not wrong, but neither he nor Steve can do it, and after a while Sam stops trying to convince them. Natasha sits with him for a while, her eyes dark with concern. They don't say much, but there's no need to.

A Snowcat is parked outside the door of the facility when they land. Bucky's jaw sets in hard lines at the sight of it, and he trades a look with Steve.

They're already here.

Comments

[nerves_of_ice]

"Enough." The single word says it all, as far as he's concerned. Things could be a lot worse... but there's a lot still ahead.

"What did the doctor tell you? Do you need to get some rest?"

[from_the_outside]

"Rest, check in, call if anything feels weird or I get dizzy." She toys with her half-eaten ice cream, then sets the bowl aside and tries for a light joke.

"Try not to hit my head on anything for a while."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Probably good advice in general," he murmurs, watching her.

[from_the_outside]

"They definitely seemed to think so."

What she wants is to get up from the couch and curl up on his lap, where she could close her eyes and let the sound of the room wash over her like white noise.

It's not like everyone here doesn't have some idea of what's going on at this point, but she doesn't know the others well, and so much of what she's feeling right now is private.

So what she allows herself is to reach her hand over the couch arm, inviting him to take it if he wants.

[nerves_of_ice]

He reaches back without hesitation, taking her hand in his and pressing her fingers with achingly gentle care.

At the other end of the couch, Natasha gives a small, privately satisfied smile, and gets up to go refill her ice cream dish. When she comes back, she catches his eye before pointedly moving to another one of the chairs, a little nearer Tony and Sam's ever-more-animated conversation.

Bucky squeezes Sharon's hand again, then leaves his seat in order to come sit on the sofa beside her.

[from_the_outside]

Relief softens her shoulders as he gets up and comes to sit next to her, and she shifts, curling her legs beneath her the other way so she can lean against his side, her shoulder against his.

It helps.

[nerves_of_ice]

As she relaxes slightly and leans against him he shifts to put his arm around her and draw her in.

"Better?" he asks.

[from_the_outside]

"Better."

She doesn't have words to say that, after everything that's happened, sitting right next to him is the only place she feels safe. Or anything at all like herself.

Sharon puts her head on his shoulder and breathes evenly, in and out, letting her eyes drift closed as she listens to the conversations happening around them. On any other day, she'd be joining in, but today all she wants to do is let it wash around her, reminding her that they're back, and safe, and all together.

[nerves_of_ice]

He stays quiet, holding her near as she relaxes further and her eyes close and her breathing deepens. Steve glances over to check on them, and gives him an understanding look and a small, equally understanding smile.

[from_the_outside]

Nobody makes any comments about her leaning on Bucky, and she's grateful for it. She's also grateful that Sam gives her an out by being the first to get up after a while to call it a night. It means she can bow out, too, without worrying too much that the others will think something's wrong.

She sits up and looks at Bucky. "Getting some rest sounds like a good idea," she murmurs, and glances at Nat, a question in her eyes. She's got no idea if there's a spot for her to sleep, or any of her clothes or other things... or if Nat's going to enforce keeping her under her supervision.

Probably not, but there's always the chance.

[nerves_of_ice]

It doesn't surprise him in the slightest to see Natasha take the ball Sharon throws her and run with it. She stands, stretches, and says, "We all have to be at the Center pretty early tomorrow and I have a sneaking suspicion that it's going to be a long day." She gives Tony a pointed look and a bright smile.

Bucky glances at Steve. "I'll walk Sharon back," he suggests.

[from_the_outside]

Steve nods, his mouth quirking. "Good," he says. To Sharon, he adds: "Rest up, okay? We all want you to feel better."

"I already do," she tells him, and stands, waiting for Bucky.

Steve makes no move to do anything like the same, and she thinks he's probably going to stay with Tony. Maybe only for a little while, maybe for longer.

They've got a lot to talk about. "Night, everyone."

[nerves_of_ice]

Natasha strolls out with them and leads the way down the hall. "Sharon, it's really your call," she notes, as they walk. "My suite has an extra bedroom that you're welcome to, the same way Steve's does, or there's plenty of extra rooms on the floor if you'd rather one of your own."

She gives her a teasing glance. "Just don't tell the doctor."

Bucky gives Sharon a sideways look. Like Natasha says... it's her decision.

[from_the_outside]

Sharon snorts a laugh and shakes her head. "What he doesn't know won't hurt him," she says, amused.

"I'll take one of the extras. May as well put Tony's generosity to good use."

[nerves_of_ice]

Natasha flashes a smile at her and reaches into a pocket, then passes over a key card. "Tony programmed them all to let everyone in our little group in and keep everyone else out, including the hotel staff," she says. "Pick any room you want. This one's mine," she adds, stopping in front of a door. "James can show you where Steve's is, Tony's in the penthouse of course, and Sam's down at the other end of the hall."

The look he gives Natasha is grateful, and her answering smile is filled with warmth and understanding. "Get some rest," she tells them. "Both of you. We'll talk soon."

[from_the_outside]

She gives Nat a quick hug, squeezing her friend gently before letting go and stepping back.

"You, too," she says. "See you in the morning, Nat."

[nerves_of_ice]

"спасибо, Natasha," he murmurs, the Russian a deliberate choice. "See you tomorrow."

As she closes the door behind her, Bucky glances down at Sharon. "Which room do you want?" Forestalling the question, just in case, he adds, "Steve's suite is two doors down on the right. I think every door on the other side's an empty room instead of a suite."

[from_the_outside]

She looks down the hall, then up at him.

"I don't care," she says, honestly. "I just want to be wherever you are. Is that okay?"

[nerves_of_ice]

Slowly, gently, he brushes her hair back from her face. His hand is trembling, he notices.

"Yes," he murmurs. "Sharon. Yes." Bucky draws a careful breath. "I'm sorry. I have to ask you to choose, I can't--" He shakes his head, hoping she'll understand from what he's told her before.

"Do you want a separate room, or my room in Steve's suite? Either way I'll be with you."

[from_the_outside]

She leans into his touch, then lifts her hand to his, turning her head to gently kiss his fingers, his palm.

"Would it be a good idea for you to be close to Steve tonight?" she murmurs, looking back at him.

She'll make the choice, but if there's any chance he might need Steve nearby, in the same suite, she wants to know. After everything that's happened, today and in the days before? "You might need him."

[nerves_of_ice]

"I don't know." There's faint, growing tension underlying the words. "I don't -- I can't -- I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I can't--"

Steve might feel better with him near, after everything that had happened at the facility, he knows. But Sharon might feel better with more privacy, after being made so vulnerable. He's torn between their possibly-conflicting needs, unable to even discern what his own might be, and struggling with it.

[from_the_outside]

"Shh," she says, and presses his hand in hers. "It's okay. If Steve won't mind, I'll stay in your room. In his suite. Okay?"

Steve will want Bucky close, she's sure. And she thinks Bucky would prefer that Steve be nearby, too. And for her part...

She doesn't want to think too hard about how much better she'll feel with Bucky and Steve in the same suite. How much harder it would be for an invader to get to her.

If she doesn't admit it, she can't be afraid of it.

[nerves_of_ice]

Bucky pulls her close for a moment, hugging her to him, before he relaxes his hold and looks down at her. "He won't mind. Come on."

He keeps his arm around her as he leads her down the two doors and unlocks the suite with his keycard.

"It's the bedroom to the left," he murmurs, as the door closes behind them. "There are robes in the closet, and little shower gels and stuff in the bathroom... if it's not enough, or not right, I can get you something else."

[from_the_outside]

"It's fine," she promises.

It's not her robe, or her toiletries, but it's fine. Her mouth presses, slightly. "I guess I'll have to go home in the morning to get a change of clothes."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Do you want me to go tonight?" It's a sincere offer. "I can get there and back in less than an hour."