[Leipzig AU] a means to a necessary end

[nerves_of_ice]

It's a long flight from Berlin to Novosibirsk and the secret location far beyond it, even in a Quinjet. They spend the time planning and coordinating. Bucky describes the structure and security of the facility itself as best he remembers. Tony calls up plans and blueprints from god knows where and throws them into the middle of the plane for all to see. They're not the same as what Bucky remembers, they figure out fairly quickly, but they're better than nothing.

Tony also takes over the back of the plane and snaps at anyone who comes close, doing something that involves shifting screens and models of buildings and wave patterns and a human skull, and the eventually the low humming grind of a machine. Soon after, he stalks back up to the front of the plane and shoves a set of custom-fabricated earplugs at Bucky, who stares at them and then at Tony.

"Noise-cancelling all the way to total sound blackout. Tap the end of the earpiece to deafen yourself," Tony informs him. "Last thing we need's for you to be his puppet." Bucky starts to stammer a thanks, but Tony growls something under his breath and stalks back to the back of the plane again to work on something else. Steve catches Bucky's eye and shakes his head, and Bucky decides to leave well enough alone.

Sam advises everyone to rest in shifts; Bucky knows he's not wrong, but neither he nor Steve can do it, and after a while Sam stops trying to convince them. Natasha sits with him for a while, her eyes dark with concern. They don't say much, but there's no need to.

A Snowcat is parked outside the door of the facility when they land. Bucky's jaw sets in hard lines at the sight of it, and he trades a look with Steve.

They're already here.

Comments

[nerves_of_ice]

He catches the look she gives him and does his best to return a reassuring glance, augmented by a small, bolstering nod of support.

His mind is reeling with everything that's happened in the last half hour. He does his best to focus on the immediate moment, and then the moment after that, hoping to find balance and fast.

[from_the_outside]

"Meet me at my office in twenty-five minutes," Ross tells Nat, then glances to Sharon and jerks his head at the door. "Carter."

"Sir."

She keeps Bucky's nod and the look in his eyes at the forefront of her thoughts as they leave, heading for Ross's office. She can't afford to think about any of the rest of it. Not yet.

[nerves_of_ice]

"Well, that could have gone worse," Tony observes, brittle and bright, and then rolls his eyes as his phone vibrates. "Spoke too soon," he mutters as he puts it to his ear. "Hi, Secretary--"

Bucky looks at Steve as Tony wanders off, unaware of how fragile the look in his eyes is. Steve turns in his seat to face him. "It's going to be okay," he promises, low and urgent. "We'll figure it out. And you'll like the compound, you really will."

"Just wait until you meet the rest of the crowd," Sam adds. He leans on the table on the other side of Bucky, dangling one foot in the air. "Cap, what's the play here? Are we supposed to be doing something for this investigation?"

"You could help me make sure we know exactly what we want to get out of Zemo," Natasha suggests, circling around to join them. "Let's start there."

They do. Time passes. Natasha leaves to meet Ross; Sharon doesn't return. Tony busies himself in a corner of the room, talking to his AI assistant. Steve pulls out a little notebook and uses a couple of pages from the back to make a list of next steps with Bucky and Sam.

More time passes. Bucky does his best not to think about anything beyond the present moment.

[from_the_outside]

This interview is about as awful as she expected it to be. She wrings every last detail out, determined that Zemo not be able to surprise Ross with anything, and is mildly surprised when Ross tells her she won't be detained until the investigation is over.

But she's still suspended, and, technically speaking, she shouldn't be here at all, even though she's not sure her apartment is safe to go to.

Ross solves that problem by calling in Agent Riley and informing him that he's going to be her escort for the foreseeable future. It could be worse; she likes Riley. He wouldn't have been her first choice as an escort – or, to be clear about what this is, a guard – but he's fine.

He chats lightly with her as they head back to the conference room, apparently not minding the fact that she doesn't respond back at all. She's still quiet as they enter the conference room once more, even as Riley's delighted "Hi, again!" falls into the quiet room.

[nerves_of_ice]

"Agent Riley," Steve greets him, as Bucky's gaze goes immediately to Sharon and holds. "Good to see you again."

[from_the_outside]

"Cap," Riley says, pleased, and goes over to greet him. "Nice to see you all back, too."

Sharon takes the opportunity to pull out a chair by Bucky and settle into it, letting her knee nudge his beneath the table as Riley chats with Sam and Steve.

[nerves_of_ice]

He leans back into her without hesitation. "You okay?" he murmurs, while the others are occupied.

[from_the_outside]

"About as well as could be expected."

She gives him a small, rueful smile. "You?"

[nerves_of_ice]

"Something like that." He glances across the room, making sure no one's close enough to overhear them.

"I didn't know Tony was going to do that."

[from_the_outside]

She nods, and spares a moment to be grateful that Ross assigned Riley, and not Ingrid, to her. Riley's perfectly happy to turn the occasional blind eye – as long as she's not too obvious.

"Did Steve?"

[nerves_of_ice]

"I don't think so. We talked a little about me maybe coming back to New York, but nothing was settled... at least I didn't think it was," he admits. "But I don't think Steve would have sprung it on me like that. On us like that."

[from_the_outside]

She nods, and has to glance down at the table before she can meet his eyes again.

It would be good for him. No, it would be better for him. Of course it would. To be with Steve, to be back in the States, to work with Tony. She knows all that.

But it still, selfisly, breaks her heart to think of him leaving. "Tony seems to be all about spontaneous decisions," she says, trying to make it light.

[nerves_of_ice]

"He's something, that's for sure." Bucky sounds a little sour, and a little bemused.

"It feels like there's a lot of undercurrents. And I don't understand them all."

[from_the_outside]

"Mm."

In some ways, the Avengers remind her of a high-school clique: the ones that seemed almost to have their own language, seemingly impenetrable from the outside. "A lot of of people want a lot of different things right now, and plenty of them aren't exactly accustomed to hearing the word 'no.'"

[nerves_of_ice]

He makes a quiet, noncommittal sound.

"What do you want?"

[from_the_outside]

"I want to keep my job."

His knee is warm against hers as she watches him. Her voice is barely a murmur, for his ears only. "And I want to keep you, too."

[nerves_of_ice]

"You have me," he whispers, the faintest hint of desperation underlying his words. "I'm yours. For as long as you want me."

[from_the_outside]

The strain in his voice tangles for the echoing one in her chest, and she reaches beneath the table to tangle her fingers with his, a little harder than she'd meant.

"I can't ask you to stay just for me," she says, anguish clawing at the inside of her chest. They can't talk about this, here and now, but she can't stop herself. "If Tony can do it – if he can – you have to try."

[nerves_of_ice]

"If I do - if I go, if I -- I'll come back," he swears. "It'll be like before, when I was scouting targets. If I go, I'll come back, Sharon, I will. I don't w--"

He chokes, swallows it back, his breathing a little ragged, and works on making sure the near miss doesn't show.

[from_the_outside]

Beneath the table, her fingers tighten so hard in his that her knuckles go white.

"I know," she whispers. "You have me, too. I won't let go."

[nerves_of_ice]

He nods, holding on to her hand in his, lacing his fingers with hers.

"Is Ross-- Is he." A slow, careful breath. "The investigation. Are you--"

He doesn't know how to say it, how to ask.

[from_the_outside]

"Ongoing," she murmurs, and looks wry. "Ross promised he'll fast track it, but for now..."

She glances tellingly at Riley. "I've got a chaperone everywhere I go in the building."

[nerves_of_ice]

He nods, slow and deliberate. "Okay."

Bucky glances at her. "I'm sorry. I don't know how to make this easier. Any of it."

[from_the_outside]

"Same."

She runs her thumb over his knuckles, gentle. "We'll just have to muddle through somehow."

[nerves_of_ice]

He nods, and draws another careful breath.

"Riley seems to be getting along well with the others," he says, in a more normal tone. "You were right about the angle."