[Leipzig AU] a means to a necessary end

[nerves_of_ice]

It's a long flight from Berlin to Novosibirsk and the secret location far beyond it, even in a Quinjet. They spend the time planning and coordinating. Bucky describes the structure and security of the facility itself as best he remembers. Tony calls up plans and blueprints from god knows where and throws them into the middle of the plane for all to see. They're not the same as what Bucky remembers, they figure out fairly quickly, but they're better than nothing.

Tony also takes over the back of the plane and snaps at anyone who comes close, doing something that involves shifting screens and models of buildings and wave patterns and a human skull, and the eventually the low humming grind of a machine. Soon after, he stalks back up to the front of the plane and shoves a set of custom-fabricated earplugs at Bucky, who stares at them and then at Tony.

"Noise-cancelling all the way to total sound blackout. Tap the end of the earpiece to deafen yourself," Tony informs him. "Last thing we need's for you to be his puppet." Bucky starts to stammer a thanks, but Tony growls something under his breath and stalks back to the back of the plane again to work on something else. Steve catches Bucky's eye and shakes his head, and Bucky decides to leave well enough alone.

Sam advises everyone to rest in shifts; Bucky knows he's not wrong, but neither he nor Steve can do it, and after a while Sam stops trying to convince them. Natasha sits with him for a while, her eyes dark with concern. They don't say much, but there's no need to.

A Snowcat is parked outside the door of the facility when they land. Bucky's jaw sets in hard lines at the sight of it, and he trades a look with Steve.

They're already here.

Comments

[from_the_outside]

"I'll keep it to myself," she promises.

The very last thing Bucky needs is to feel more guilt about... honestly, anything. "I'm sorry, Nat. For what it's worth, I think the Avengers are a good idea. But a lot's happened before you guys could even really get through your growing pains, hasn't it?"

[marvel_npc]

"It really has. And the world doesn't stop to wait for anyone to get their feet under them."

Nat sighs again. "We'll get there. If we just have enough time. It's why I signed, you know?"

[from_the_outside]

"I get it. Believe me."

She squeezes Nat's fingers again, warm. "You were always good at seeing the big picture and finding ways to get through it."

[marvel_npc]

"I told Steve staying together was more important than how we stay together."

Nat takes another swallow of her drink. There's something dark in her eyes when she looks at Sharon. "I'm tired of losing people."

[from_the_outside]

Sharon nods, silently, and keeps her fingers loosely laced with Nat's.

"You'll get through it," she says. "You all will. I'm sure of it."

[marvel_npc]

She nods. "But that's part of why Steve won't hear of anything that runs the risk of him losing James again. Part of it. I'm sure you know more about that than I do."

[from_the_outside]

"I don't know about that," she says, rueful, and sips at her drink. "But I'm pretty sure neither of them is going to be all that keen on anything that keeps them apart again."

[marvel_npc]

"Hmm," Nat says. She studies her friend carefully. "Well, look at it from my point of view?"

She takes another sip of her own drink. "Steve's been looking for James for years. Since he found out he was alive. No clues. No trace."

She keeps her tone light, friendly, and relaxed. "He goes off to London-- which, actually, first..." She squeezes Sharon's hand. "I'm sorry about Peggy."

[from_the_outside]

The chasm of grief she hasn't been able to allow herself to feel almost since the funeral ended yawns abruptly open in her chest, hollow and aching.

"Thank you," she murmurs, and squeezes Nat's fingers back as she waits for her friend to continue.

[marvel_npc]

"So. Steve's in London. I've flown back to Vienna to be there for the signing. And then the bomb goes off, and everyone says it's the Winter Soldier..."

Her dark gaze is steady on Sharon.

"Everyone except you. Because it turns out, you know where he is. I feel there's more to this story."

[from_the_outside]

"There is. And Steve was pretty pissed at me when he heard it."

She takes a deeper swallow of her drink. "Because I found Bucky a few months ago. And I lied to him about it."

[marvel_npc]

"Not much would get Steve that mad," she murmurs. "But that would probably do it. I'm guessing you had a good reason?"

[from_the_outside]

"Bucky asked me not tell him," she says, gently but without apology.

"So I didn't."

[marvel_npc]

"Mm-hm." Nat considers her for a long moment. "Just so you know," she says, after a few seconds. "Sam brought me up to speed on everything you told Steve - in front of him, anyway. So I think I'm pretty clear on the basics."

"But I'm curious." She looks down at their hands. "You've risked an awful lot for James."

[from_the_outside]

"He's a good man," Sharon murmurs, after a long moment where her gaze rests on the cracked glass art. "In a bad situation. It was worth it."

[marvel_npc]

"A bad situation. Yes." There's something very, very certain about the way she says it.

[from_the_outside]

She squeezes Nat's fingers again, gently.

"It's not the whole story. But it's a lot of it."

[marvel_npc]

Nat makes a small sound of agreement.

"Is there anything you want to ask me?"

Her voice is very, very steady.

[from_the_outside]

Sharon lowers her drink and balances the glass on her thigh, her fingers light on the stem as she studies Nat.

"Is there something you want to tell me?" she asks.

[marvel_npc]

She laughs, just a little, and it's soft and oddly broken.

"I don't know."

[from_the_outside]

"Nat," she says, her heart squeezing at the sound of that laugh. "What's wrong?"

[marvel_npc]

"I didn't get him out," she says, starkly. "I couldn't. I left him behind."

[from_the_outside]

"It's not your fault," she says, immediate and fierce.

"You couldn't have, Nat. It wasn't possible."

[marvel_npc]

Softly, "You don't know that."

[from_the_outside]

"I do know it."

There's a stubborn jut to her jaw though her eyes are sympathetic. "Because if there had been a way, you'd have found it. There wasn't. And you had to get out."