[Leipzig AU] a means to a necessary end

[nerves_of_ice]

It's a long flight from Berlin to Novosibirsk and the secret location far beyond it, even in a Quinjet. They spend the time planning and coordinating. Bucky describes the structure and security of the facility itself as best he remembers. Tony calls up plans and blueprints from god knows where and throws them into the middle of the plane for all to see. They're not the same as what Bucky remembers, they figure out fairly quickly, but they're better than nothing.

Tony also takes over the back of the plane and snaps at anyone who comes close, doing something that involves shifting screens and models of buildings and wave patterns and a human skull, and the eventually the low humming grind of a machine. Soon after, he stalks back up to the front of the plane and shoves a set of custom-fabricated earplugs at Bucky, who stares at them and then at Tony.

"Noise-cancelling all the way to total sound blackout. Tap the end of the earpiece to deafen yourself," Tony informs him. "Last thing we need's for you to be his puppet." Bucky starts to stammer a thanks, but Tony growls something under his breath and stalks back to the back of the plane again to work on something else. Steve catches Bucky's eye and shakes his head, and Bucky decides to leave well enough alone.

Sam advises everyone to rest in shifts; Bucky knows he's not wrong, but neither he nor Steve can do it, and after a while Sam stops trying to convince them. Natasha sits with him for a while, her eyes dark with concern. They don't say much, but there's no need to.

A Snowcat is parked outside the door of the facility when they land. Bucky's jaw sets in hard lines at the sight of it, and he trades a look with Steve.

They're already here.

Comments

[from_the_outside]

"I'll keep an eye on him, Cap," Sharon promises, holding up a hand like a scout reciting an oath.

"Your track record's not so great, either," he says, amused, and she chuckles.

"Then I promise: nothing stupid... tonight."

[nerves_of_ice]

"If he doesn't hold you to that, I will," Bucky says, trying for light and mostly getting there.

Steve shakes his head at them both and goes to the door. "See you tomorrow, you two."

[from_the_outside]

"Good night, Steve."

She waits until he's left and the door has closed behind him before setting her tote on the floor and going quickly to Bucky, holding her hands out for his, her eyes locked on his face. "Hi," she murmurs.

"Are you okay?"

[nerves_of_ice]

He takes her by the hands, holding tighter than he means to, and draws her into his arms.

"I'm okay," he tries, and winces as he hears how uncertain it comes out. "I am."

[from_the_outside]

She puts her arms around him and presses herself close, running her hand soothingly over his tense back.

"Steve said the Wakandans are treating you well," she says. "I'm glad. You'll be safe with them, that's all that matters."

[nerves_of_ice]

If anything, he becomes more tense. He's been trying not to think about the personal implications of seeking sanctuary in Wakanda since listening to T'Challa and Ross talk earlier today, with varying degrees of success.

"Not all," he murmurs.

[from_the_outside]

She lifts her head to look up at him as he tenses in her arms. "Maybe not all," she concedes.

"But it's a lot."

[nerves_of_ice]

He nods. "Goddamn Ross anyway," he says, and the bitter weariness in his words could slice sharper than any blade. "Not your Ross. The other one. Him, and all the rest of them like him. They never stop."

[from_the_outside]

"I know," she says, softly. "I know, baby. Come here. Hold onto me."

She takes her arms from around him and takes his hands again, coaxing him over to a couch so she can curl up in his lap and he can hold onto her as tightly as he needs to.

[nerves_of_ice]

He lets himself be led, lowering himself to sit on the couch where she guides him, and puts both arms around her as she settles on his lap.

Bucky buries his face in her shoulder, drawing in the scent of her hair and the warmth of her skin, and tries to just breathe.

[from_the_outside]

She puts her arms back around him, kisses his hair and strokes her hand gently over it, murmuring soft things, trying her best to soothe him.

"They don't stop," she agrees, quietly. "But they don't get to have you. None of them."

[nerves_of_ice]

He shakes his head without looking up. Slightly muffled, he asks, "Do you think Steve will be safe? Will they go after him next?"

[from_the_outside]

"I think so," she says, after a moment where her heart hurts too much for her to speak without giving it away.

"I think he'll be safe. For one thing, they don't have anything on him like the kind of leverage they've got on you. And after everything that happened in D.C., there would a riot if they tried to force him. I think he'll be okay."

The gentle gust of her sigh ruffles a few strands of his hair. "Not that Ross won't be on his back. But maybe it'll provoke public disapproval of the Accords, once people see what they really mean."

[nerves_of_ice]

This time he nods. A shudder runs through him as he wrenches himself fully back under control. Slowly, Bucky raises his head and looks at her.

"I didn't even ask. Are you okay, baby?"

[from_the_outside]

She lifts a finger to delicately push a lock of hair back behind his ear in a gentle caress.

"Getting there," she murmurs. "Better now that I've seen you."

[nerves_of_ice]

He raises his right hand and shapes it to the curve of her cheek, then leans in to give her a lingering kiss before he pulls back and lowers his hand to rest on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry," he whispers.

[from_the_outside]

"There's nothing for you to be sorry for when it comes to me," she whispers, a little fiercely, and curves her hand at his neck, feeling the warmth of his skin.

"Nothing. None of this is your fault."

[nerves_of_ice]

He shivers at her touch, but otherwise remains still. "I couldn't figure out another way. Not one that wouldn't... I still can't. But if this is going to mess things up for you with the investigation, if this--"

[from_the_outside]

"Shh," she hushes him, running her thumb comfortingly along the line of muscle at his neck. "It won't. Try not to worry about it."

In fact, she's reasonably sure Ross is fast-tracking everything that ought to take weeks at least partially because he doesn't want whatever political blowback will happen to land on her. She hesitates, but presses onward. "Nat came with me back to my apartment today," she tells him, gentle.

"She told me what happened. With the two of you. I'm so sorry, Bucky. And I promise, this isn't anything like what happened back then. But I understand why you're afraid."

[nerves_of_ice]

At first the words don't make sense - and then they do, and he stares at her in utter surprise.

"She told you?"

[from_the_outside]

She nods.

"Is that okay?"

[nerves_of_ice]

"It's okay," he reassures her. "It's okay. I'm just - I was just surprised."

[from_the_outside]

"I think," she says, her words as slow and careful as the fingers she runs through the ends of his hair. "I think she wanted to make sure I understood. Why my suspension hit you so hard. And what Zemo did to me."

Very gently, she adds: "I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry for scaring you."

[nerves_of_ice]

He doesn't try to deny his fear; not only would it not do any good if he did, he doesn't lie to her.

"It wasn't your fault," he says instead, his tone low but very nearly fierce. "You didn't do anything wrong."

[from_the_outside]

"That might depend on who's looking at it," she murmurs. "But I know what you mean."

She curves her hand, warm and solid, back at his neck. "Whatever you need to prove to yourself this isn't the same thing," she says, soft, "I'll do. I don't care if I have to say it a million times, or how tight you might want to hold on. I'm here. And – aside from a headache and a few bad memories – I'm okay."