[Leipzig AU] a means to a necessary end

[nerves_of_ice]

It's a long flight from Berlin to Novosibirsk and the secret location far beyond it, even in a Quinjet. They spend the time planning and coordinating. Bucky describes the structure and security of the facility itself as best he remembers. Tony calls up plans and blueprints from god knows where and throws them into the middle of the plane for all to see. They're not the same as what Bucky remembers, they figure out fairly quickly, but they're better than nothing.

Tony also takes over the back of the plane and snaps at anyone who comes close, doing something that involves shifting screens and models of buildings and wave patterns and a human skull, and the eventually the low humming grind of a machine. Soon after, he stalks back up to the front of the plane and shoves a set of custom-fabricated earplugs at Bucky, who stares at them and then at Tony.

"Noise-cancelling all the way to total sound blackout. Tap the end of the earpiece to deafen yourself," Tony informs him. "Last thing we need's for you to be his puppet." Bucky starts to stammer a thanks, but Tony growls something under his breath and stalks back to the back of the plane again to work on something else. Steve catches Bucky's eye and shakes his head, and Bucky decides to leave well enough alone.

Sam advises everyone to rest in shifts; Bucky knows he's not wrong, but neither he nor Steve can do it, and after a while Sam stops trying to convince them. Natasha sits with him for a while, her eyes dark with concern. They don't say much, but there's no need to.

A Snowcat is parked outside the door of the facility when they land. Bucky's jaw sets in hard lines at the sight of it, and he trades a look with Steve.

They're already here.

Comments

[from_the_outside]

"There are going to be a lot of people who'll want that manual," she murmurs.

"We can't let them know you have it."

[nerves_of_ice]

"No one knows I have it now but you and Steve," he tells her, with a small shrug.

"I should probably destroy it. After."

[from_the_outside]

"Yeah."

She can't let herself even begin to think there might be something in the manual that could help him. It has to be destroyed, so that no one else can ever use it again. "I think you'll have to."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Once I read it." Quiet but firm.

[from_the_outside]

"Once you read it," she agrees.

There are a lot of question about after she she doesn't want to think about yet. After he reads the manual. After the debrief. After the dust settles and the United Nations has to actually enforce the Accords, or rethink them.

After Steve goes home.

But none of that is anything they have to talk about tonight.

[nerves_of_ice]

He hesitates for what feels like a very long time, but probably isn't more than a few seconds.

"Do you want to read it?"

[from_the_outside]

"No."

She says it instantly, like a reflex.

She's given up so much intelligence already. The thought of knowing something like that – if anyone else managed to get the drug Zemo had –

Sharon shudders. "If I never read it, I can never tell anyone about it. Even if they try to force me."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Sharon." He curves his hand against her cheek and coaxes her to look at him, but doesn't try to make her.

"I trust you more with it than I do anyone else but Steve. Lots of people have already read it. You don't have to. But I'm not worried about you telling anyone. Ever. No matter what."

A long beat holds, and then he adds, "I'll talk to Natasha. We'll find a way to deal with the formula. That won't happen to you again."

[from_the_outside]

She meets his eyes and doesn't look away as she listens to his soft words. When he finishes, she sighs, very softly.

"I'll read it if you think there's anything in it I should know," she tells him. "Maybe something in there could help get the commands out of your head. And I can see how it might not be a bad idea to have that information in the hands of people you trust. But I don't want to read it for myself."

[nerves_of_ice]

He shrugs, and leaves the topic alone as something else strikes him.

"Tony mentioned something about that," he murmurs. "No idea what he's thinking, though."

[from_the_outside]

"With Tony Stark, I guess it could be anything."

She reaches to run her hand over his hair, toying with the ends as they brush the back of his neck. It's still a little damp, but not much. "Are you ready to lie down?"

[nerves_of_ice]

"You must be exhausted." He leans into the touch. "Let me get the lights and leave a note for Steve."

[from_the_outside]

"Okay."

She ghosts her thumb over his temple, then unwinds her arms from around his neck and gets up. "Let me put the laundry bag out and call down to the front desk to ask them to wash my stuff for the morning."

[nerves_of_ice]

"I'll take it out for you."

He walks over to the closet and pulls his t-shirt and sleep pants down - how Tony'd managed to arrange getting his and Steve's things from the Center he doesn't know, but suspects it has a lot to do with money - gets dressed, then pads out to find hotel notepaper and a pen and set the laundry out for collection.

He scrawls a note for Steve, letting him know Sharon's here, and props it up by the little coffee pot where it can't be missed.

[from_the_outside]

She retrieves the small bottle of sedatives from her coat pocket and sets it on the bedside table, then considers them for a moment before deciding against taking one.

If she doesn't sleep well, she can take one tomorrow. Tonight, she's not sure she wants anything messing with her mind and body.

She slips out of the robe and slings it over a chairback, then climbs into the bed and pulls the sheets and blanket up around her, settling into the pillow. It's strange to be in a hotel bed when her own apartment is so near, but there's no chance she'd feel safe enough to sleep there tonight.

[nerves_of_ice]

Bucky shuts the bedroom door behind him and comes to sit by her on the edge of the bed. He runs his hand lightly over her shoulder.

"I can loan you a shirt and shorts, if you want," he offers.

[from_the_outside]

She doesn't mind sleeping naked, but on the off-chance there's an emergency – another one –

Sharon nods and sits up, then pushes her legs out from under the sheets. "Okay. Thanks, baby."

[nerves_of_ice]

He brings her both items, promptly depleting his own stash of clean clothes. If he's here much longer he'll have to do something about that, but there's no point in thinking about that yet.

Bucky flips on the bedside lamp and shuts off the rest of the lights, then crawls into the other side of the bed to wait for her.

[from_the_outside]

She slips on his shorts and a t-shirt, both hanging loose on her, and slides back into bed next to him, stretching herself along his side.

With the lights off, it almost feels normal.

[nerves_of_ice]

He turns to draw her into his arms. "Comfortable?"

[from_the_outside]

"Mmhm."

She puts her arms around him in turn, savoring his warmth and solidity, the realness of him. "Are you?"

[nerves_of_ice]

"Yes," he assures her, in turn. "Sleep, baby. You're safe."

[from_the_outside]

"I know I am," she murmurs, and presses a kiss to his shoulder.

"You're here."

[nerves_of_ice]

"And I'm not going anywhere." He threads his fingers into her hair, and hopes she'll rest.

[from_the_outside]

"Good."

She smoothes her hand over his side and exhales, soft and slow. "Goodnight, baby."