[Leipzig AU] a means to a necessary end

[nerves_of_ice]

It's a long flight from Berlin to Novosibirsk and the secret location far beyond it, even in a Quinjet. They spend the time planning and coordinating. Bucky describes the structure and security of the facility itself as best he remembers. Tony calls up plans and blueprints from god knows where and throws them into the middle of the plane for all to see. They're not the same as what Bucky remembers, they figure out fairly quickly, but they're better than nothing.

Tony also takes over the back of the plane and snaps at anyone who comes close, doing something that involves shifting screens and models of buildings and wave patterns and a human skull, and the eventually the low humming grind of a machine. Soon after, he stalks back up to the front of the plane and shoves a set of custom-fabricated earplugs at Bucky, who stares at them and then at Tony.

"Noise-cancelling all the way to total sound blackout. Tap the end of the earpiece to deafen yourself," Tony informs him. "Last thing we need's for you to be his puppet." Bucky starts to stammer a thanks, but Tony growls something under his breath and stalks back to the back of the plane again to work on something else. Steve catches Bucky's eye and shakes his head, and Bucky decides to leave well enough alone.

Sam advises everyone to rest in shifts; Bucky knows he's not wrong, but neither he nor Steve can do it, and after a while Sam stops trying to convince them. Natasha sits with him for a while, her eyes dark with concern. They don't say much, but there's no need to.

A Snowcat is parked outside the door of the facility when they land. Bucky's jaw sets in hard lines at the sight of it, and he trades a look with Steve.

They're already here.

Comments

[nerves_of_ice]

"спасибо, Natasha," he murmurs, the Russian a deliberate choice. "See you tomorrow."

As she closes the door behind her, Bucky glances down at Sharon. "Which room do you want?" Forestalling the question, just in case, he adds, "Steve's suite is two doors down on the right. I think every door on the other side's an empty room instead of a suite."

[from_the_outside]

She looks down the hall, then up at him.

"I don't care," she says, honestly. "I just want to be wherever you are. Is that okay?"

[nerves_of_ice]

Slowly, gently, he brushes her hair back from her face. His hand is trembling, he notices.

"Yes," he murmurs. "Sharon. Yes." Bucky draws a careful breath. "I'm sorry. I have to ask you to choose, I can't--" He shakes his head, hoping she'll understand from what he's told her before.

"Do you want a separate room, or my room in Steve's suite? Either way I'll be with you."

[from_the_outside]

She leans into his touch, then lifts her hand to his, turning her head to gently kiss his fingers, his palm.

"Would it be a good idea for you to be close to Steve tonight?" she murmurs, looking back at him.

She'll make the choice, but if there's any chance he might need Steve nearby, in the same suite, she wants to know. After everything that's happened, today and in the days before? "You might need him."

[nerves_of_ice]

"I don't know." There's faint, growing tension underlying the words. "I don't -- I can't -- I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I can't--"

Steve might feel better with him near, after everything that had happened at the facility, he knows. But Sharon might feel better with more privacy, after being made so vulnerable. He's torn between their possibly-conflicting needs, unable to even discern what his own might be, and struggling with it.

[from_the_outside]

"Shh," she says, and presses his hand in hers. "It's okay. If Steve won't mind, I'll stay in your room. In his suite. Okay?"

Steve will want Bucky close, she's sure. And she thinks Bucky would prefer that Steve be nearby, too. And for her part...

She doesn't want to think too hard about how much better she'll feel with Bucky and Steve in the same suite. How much harder it would be for an invader to get to her.

If she doesn't admit it, she can't be afraid of it.

[nerves_of_ice]

Bucky pulls her close for a moment, hugging her to him, before he relaxes his hold and looks down at her. "He won't mind. Come on."

He keeps his arm around her as he leads her down the two doors and unlocks the suite with his keycard.

"It's the bedroom to the left," he murmurs, as the door closes behind them. "There are robes in the closet, and little shower gels and stuff in the bathroom... if it's not enough, or not right, I can get you something else."

[from_the_outside]

"It's fine," she promises.

It's not her robe, or her toiletries, but it's fine. Her mouth presses, slightly. "I guess I'll have to go home in the morning to get a change of clothes."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Do you want me to go tonight?" It's a sincere offer. "I can get there and back in less than an hour."

[from_the_outside]

"No."

It's a little more immediate than it should be, and she grimaces, hauls down on the spike of fear that had come out of nowhere. "No, it's fine. I can wear this for a few more hours in the morning."

She can't wait to get out of these clothes, the ones that are too warm for Berlin at this time of year, the ones she'd been wearing in the cryo chamber and all the way home again, but she prefers it to him leaving. Logically, she knows her apartment is safe now – there would be no reason for Zemo to booby-trap it and he, the infiltrator, is in custody –

But she still doesn't like the idea. "But a shower and a robe sound like a great idea."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Okay," he murmurs. "Okay, baby."

Maybe Natasha will have something she can borrow, or hell, maybe they can have something sent over from one of the nearby shops. "Come on. Let's get you comfortable."

He can't stop hovering, but she doesn't seem to mind, so he leads her into the bedroom and goes to switch on both the regular light and the heat lamp in the bathroom.

[from_the_outside]

Sharon toes off her winter boots and sets her coat on a nearby chair, then looks around. The hotel has a laundry service bag hanging in the closet next to the robes; she takes it and brings it into the bathroom. Probably she can get her clothes at least laundered before the morning – that might help.

She uses one of the hotel-provided toothbrushes, grateful to get the taste of the last twenty four hours out of her mouth, then turns the hot water on and begins stripping out of her dirty clothes. During all of it, she doesn't ask him to leave.

The bruises from her fight with Zemo are littered over her torso: at her solar plexus, where he'd hit her to make her stop struggling; on her back where he'd kneeled on her. She reaches to touch the bruise at her cheekbone very lightly, and takes a shaking breath.

[nerves_of_ice]

"And me without any arnica cream," he murmurs, trying to make a joke of it. The sight of the bruises on her skin fills him with helpless rage. "Oh, baby. I should have let you shoot him."

[from_the_outside]

"Oh, damn," she says, her smile a flickering, shadowed thing. "I should have asked for some at the hospital."

She turns away from the mirror and finishes stuffing her clothes into the laundry bag, then takes the few steps she needs to press her body against his, her arms going around his middle. She doesn't care that she's naked; she just wants to feel him holding her. "Maybe I still could," she murmurs. "I know where they're holding him."

[nerves_of_ice]

His arms go around her in turn, his embrace firm and sure. "We'll keep it as an option."

Bucky looks down at her. "Do you want me to wash your back?"

[from_the_outside]

"Sure."

She looks up at him, drinking in his face, the one she adores so much, and lets him warm her from the inside out. "I wish this place had a tub big enough for both of us. But a shower will be nice, too."

[nerves_of_ice]

He lays his hand gently against her unbruised cheek and leans down to give her a gentle kiss. "Hop in the shower then, and I'll get undressed and join you."

[from_the_outside]

Sharon kisses him back, then strokes his sides gently before stepping back and letting go. "Okay."

The shower feels incredible, hot water sluicing down over her, washing away the lingering chill that she knows is only in her head and not on her skin. She breathes the steam deep and turns her face up to the spray, working shampoo through her hair and washing her face, doing her best to scrub away everything that's happened since Zemo first broke into her apartment.

[nerves_of_ice]

He strips and lays his clothes neatly on the counter, then steps into the shower behind her. Bucky reaches for the small bottle of shower gel and pours some into his hand, then gently begins to rub over her shoulders.

[from_the_outside]

She sighs and tips her head from one side to the other, relaxing back into his touch as his fingers work the gel into a lather over her skin.

"You shouldn't have to be taking care of me after all this," she murmurs. "It's been a such a tough time for you, baby."

[nerves_of_ice]

"I like taking care of you." It comes out just as softly, without thought.

[from_the_outside]

She smiles, a little, and lets her eyes close.

"I like it, too."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Good." He kisses her wet hair and begins to work his way down her arms, then her back.

He's careful and thorough both, his touch gentle and missing nothing.

[from_the_outside]

She makes a soft sound and sways back toward him, focusing on his fingers on her skin, flesh and metal both, how careful he is around her bruises.

"I'm sorry you had to find my apartment like that," she tells him, quiet. "I'm glad you had Steve with you."

[nerves_of_ice]

With her back to him, she can't see his face at that moment, which is probably for the best, he thinks.

"Other way around, too. I'm glad Steve didn't walk into that alone," he says, after a moment. "It's not your fault, baby. None of this is."