[Virginia AU] to unravel a torment you must begin somewhere

[nerves_of_ice]

I need to think, he'd told Sharon, and it's true all the way down to his bones. The problem is that he's having trouble doing it. After he spends the next half hour jumping at shadows, he considers going down into the tunnels for a while, but reluctantly decides against it. There's a five-kilometer trail on the grounds that he's run a couple of times. It'll do for a test, to see if the agents are going to have either a singular or a collective fit at his being out of the compound proper. Bucky goes straight from the garage's back exit to the nearest point, strips his jacket and leaves it on the ground, then settles into an easy lope.

By the third circuit, his mind's clear enough for him to start mulling over a few things, clear enough for him to look at the events of the last day or so in a new light. No wonder he'd had something like a - he doesn't even know how to describe it, the whirlwind of shock and fear and hurt and near-panic and desperation that he's been feeling. A spiral, maybe, but in the end the term doesn't matter, it's the reason, and when he really lets himself think about it, it doesn't take a genius or a scientist to be able to pinpoint it. All three of the people he's closest to in the world, the ones who know him best, had deceived him - or, to be fair, had let him deceive himself. And as a result, all three - Sharon more than the others, but Steve and Natasha as well - had taken harm or have been placed at still-great risk of harm, harm he's desperate to defend them from somehow. When he looks at it that way, it's really no wonder why he's reacting as he is. It's also obvious to him that he can't allow it to continue.

Bucky sets his jaw in tight, grim lines, and keeps running.

Three hours later, he makes his way back inside, absently mopping the sweat from his face and neck with the discarded jacket, and goes to find Hogan. "Windows," he tells him. Whether or not he'll leave them uncovered doesn't matter, not now. "Lots of windows. Somewhere high, not too near people. Furnished however you do as standard's fine for now. Okay?"

"I've got just the one," Hogan tells him. "I'll have it ready tomorrow. That soon enough?"

"Yes," Bucky assures him. "Thanks."

He stays with Steve again that night. Things are a little strained at first, until Bucky breaks the ice and apologizes for how he's been reacting. Steve doesn't want his apology, but his best friend listens while he tries to explain, and that's more than good enough.

Later that evening, he texts Natasha to suggest they catch up soon, and offers to bring cocoa, hoping the idea'll amuse her enough for her to realize he's not angry. Not any more. He texts Alyona a picture of Steve's bike, one of the ones he'd taken hanging upside-down, just to say hi, and texts Sharon a good-night wish.

He doesn't sleep much, due to the incessant nightmares, but at least he knows the reason for them. It helps.

The coffee's already made when Steve gets up, and conversation's a lot more relaxed. He's the first to ask about getting on the training schedule, and Steve's smile lights up the room.

By 8:57 AM, Bucky's waiting in the same conference room as the day before, a mug of black coffee at hand, and a blank notepad and pen on the table in front of him.

Comments

[marvel_npc]

When he comes in, Ingrid is rolling her eyes, and Sergeant Barnes is still tense and silent. "I'm afraid the Task Force won't allow that to be attempted," Riley informs the Secretary, cheerfully.

He offers out the coffee with a smile. "Aside from Sergeant Barnes' own right to decide whether or not he'd prefer to keep the block in place, the Task Force has a vested interest in ensuring its permanence. I'd guess the Avengers do, too. You said black with sugar, right?"

[marvel_npc]

"I did," he confirms, with a nod of appreciation for the younger man as he accepts the coffee. It's always good to offer praise to the young and impressionable when possible.

Satisfaction threads through him as he smiles. "Ah, yes, the Avengers' interest. Of course. How could I forget."

[marvel_npc]

"How, indeed," Ingrid says, desert-dry. "Seeing as you've come to their compound."

She dislikes power games of all types, and ones like this in particular. "Perhaps you should take that up with Captain Rogers and Mr. Stark."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Oh, I intend to," Ross smiles, all cheerful bonhomie. A sick, sinking feeling is spreading through Bucky's core, although he keeps it hidden while the other man continues. "Tell me, agent, in your professional opinion and that of the Task Force, what do you think of Barnes' new role?"

[marvel_npc]

"The Task Force is pleased to support Sergeant Barnes's transition to the Avengers," Ingrid says, coolly. "We understand that the best option for mitigating the threat of the Winter Soldier program is to return Sergeant Barnes's personal autonomy."

She waits a beat, as Riley returns to his spot by Barnes. "In my professional opinion, Sergeant Barnes's new role is the most efficient and least cruel method of managing his particular situation."

[nerves_of_ice]

"That's very interesting," Ross muses. "I'm surprised, agent. Especially as Barnes isn't the first Avenger with a - let's call it a 'complicated' history, shall we?"

He shifts, finally, trying to draw the man's attention to himself. "That's different," he says, low and rasping. "Despite what you think of me, the rest of the Avengers are no threat."

[marvel_npc]

"Your surprise is noted," Ingrid says, dry. "If there's nothing else, Mister Secretary, I'll have to ask you to leave, so we can continue our meeting with the Sergeant."

[nerves_of_ice]

For the first time since he's met her, he feels a deep wave of appreciation for Agent Nilsson. He watches as Ross gives her a surprised look.

"Really?" the man asks. "I suggest you not test me, agent. I'm a busy man, and I've made time today to meet with Barnes myself. You can have your little touchy-feely chat after I'm done."

[marvel_npc]

"Then you should have taken the few extra moments it would have required to make certain he was available to meet with you," Ingrid points out, unfazed. "I would expect that a busy man such as yourself would have a team of assistants available to ensure awkward situations like this one don't occur. I recommend working out an appointment with Mr. Hogan, who will be able to make sure that Sergeant Barnes, Captain Rogers, Mr. Stark, Mr. Martinez, Ms. Jackson, and of course Agent Riley and myself, are all available."

A tiny, unamused curve touches her mouth. "In the meantime, perhaps you'd like to discuss your requests for access to Sergeant Barnes with Deputy Commander Ross. I'm sure he'd be more than happy to speak with you."

[marvel_npc]

"You--"

"There you are," Tony breaks in, pushing the door open wide. Nothing's broken in the room, which is promising and honestly better than he was expecting after Happy'd gasped out the news of who was here and who he wanted to talk to. "Looks like you got sent to the wrong conference room, Secretary. Come with me and we'll get things sorted out."

He'd better. Steve had agreed to let him handle this, for now, and Tony's well aware of how fragile the mended trust between them still feels. To him, anyway.

He can tell from Ross's expression that it's the last thing the man wants to do, but the guy didn't end up in a political appointment like this one without having some smarts. Ross's wide smile shows his teeth. "Good to see you, Tony," he says, expansively, and looks at Barnes. "We'll talk soon. Don't go anywhere."

Barnes doesn't say anything at all, and Tony breathes a silent breath of gratitude as Ross passes him without a word to the Task Force agents. He grimaces, letting the others see it, and follows him out.

[marvel_npc]

Ingrid offers Stark a small nod, and waits until the room door closes and the two men are out of sight before she speaks, her voice perfectly flat.

"Riley, we need to speak to the Deputy Commander immediately." She turns, finally, and considers Barnes. "Sergeant, I recommend staying in close contact with Agent Riley or myself while the Secretary is here. I assure you, we will not allow him to bully his way to you."

[nerves_of_ice]

"So I noticed," he murmurs, consciously relaxing a little from his watchful stance. Weariness seeps through him.

"He won't give up, you know."

[marvel_npc]

"Then we will have to find a way to remove you from the situation."

Her coffee is long since cold, but she re-takes her seat, anyway, folding her hands to study the man. "I apologize for the interruption and for allowing him to get this close without warning. It was a lapse on our part. It will not happen again."

[nerves_of_ice]

"It wasn't your fault." He hesitates for a second, but then takes his own seat once more. "You don't have to apologize."

[marvel_npc]

"She'll feel better if you let us apologize," Riley informs him, taking his own seat once more. "We both will."

"It will not happen again," Ingrid repeats, with icy determination. She fixes Barnes with a steady gaze. "The Task Force will do whatever it takes to ensure your autonomy and freedom from the Winter Soldier program, Sergeant. The Secretary's suggestion that it be used as an American weapons program is tantamount to threatening a new nuclear race. We will simply not allow it to happen."

[nerves_of_ice]

He considers them both carefully for several long moments, taking in every nuance that he can about the sincerity of their belief.

"It wouldn't be the first time," he says, finally, and allows some of the exhaustion he feels to leach through into his words. "There are people who've been working on something related for decades. The control capability, what it does, combined with my skills and strength - that's going to be very attractive to a certain type of person. You have to realize that."

He just hopes no one finds out about Melina. Both Natasha and Sharon trust Fury to do the right thing there, at least.

Bucky draws a careful breath. "This is why I'm not an especially trusting person. So if you're serious about stopping them, I'd suggest you find out who sent Ross - this Ross - my file."

[marvel_npc]

"We will," Ingrid says, flat. "I assure you of that, Sergeant. Someone attempting to curry favor with the United States government, no doubt."

Over in his seat, Riley sighs and shakes his head. "And we do realize it," he promises Barnes. "That's one reason why the Task Force assigned both of us to you. We figured there'd be an attempt by someone to get to you, to try and force you into service to some government or other; we just didn't think it would be this early."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Not just governments," he tells Riley, dry as dust. "I'm only surprised it took this long."

[marvel_npc]

"No," Riley agrees, "but those are the most obvious ones."

He looks at Ingrid. "We're not going to be able to keep Ross away forever. There's already precedent with the US Military's use of Colonel Rhodes, and Ross has been trying to get more control over them since SHIELD fell."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Do you need me to step out while you call your Ross?" he asks. "Don't worry, even if this guy gets away from Tony in the next five minutes, he won't find me if I don't want him to."

Bucky sounds absolutely confident.

[marvel_npc]

Riley looks faintly impressed. Ingrid takes a moment to be grateful he's been as available as he has been.

"No," Ingrid tells him. "It pertains to your personal safety, so you should be involved. If you're comfortable with that," she remembers to add. "Otherwise, Agent Riley and I will take care of it."

[nerves_of_ice]

"I'm fine with it," Bucky replies. Whether or not the deputy commander will be remains to be seen, but he can't say he doesn't take a dark sort of satisfaction in imagining the possible look on the man's face.

Bucky reminds himself that pissing off Sharon's boss won't do her any good, or him, or Steve, and nods to them.

"Whenever you're ready."

[marvel_npc]

Ingrid nods and opens her laptop, then shifts her seat so the screen can face all three of them before putting in a video call to Ross.

He's not going to be happy. Not about any of this. But then, neither is she.

[marvel_npc]

It's late afternoon in Berlin, and Everett Ross, having just sent a few analysts off to do further due diligence what they know about vibranium, is just starting to think that maybe he's got a handle on this day.

The second the call request chimes on his office screen, he curses himself for a fool and stabs at the icon to accept with more force than strictly needed. "What?" he snaps. "If you're going to tell me he's run off again--"

The image resolves clearly enough for him to see Barnes sitting right there with Riley and Nilsson, and he breathes a slight sigh of relief. "I guess not," he says, grudgingly. "Nilsson. Riley. ...Barnes. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

[marvel_npc]

"We have a situation here, sir," Ingrid says, without preamble. "The Secretary of State arrived to demand a meeting with the Sergeant. We held him off for the moment, but there's no doubt he'll keep making the attempt."