[Virginia AU] to unravel a torment you must begin somewhere

[nerves_of_ice]

I need to think, he'd told Sharon, and it's true all the way down to his bones. The problem is that he's having trouble doing it. After he spends the next half hour jumping at shadows, he considers going down into the tunnels for a while, but reluctantly decides against it. There's a five-kilometer trail on the grounds that he's run a couple of times. It'll do for a test, to see if the agents are going to have either a singular or a collective fit at his being out of the compound proper. Bucky goes straight from the garage's back exit to the nearest point, strips his jacket and leaves it on the ground, then settles into an easy lope.

By the third circuit, his mind's clear enough for him to start mulling over a few things, clear enough for him to look at the events of the last day or so in a new light. No wonder he'd had something like a - he doesn't even know how to describe it, the whirlwind of shock and fear and hurt and near-panic and desperation that he's been feeling. A spiral, maybe, but in the end the term doesn't matter, it's the reason, and when he really lets himself think about it, it doesn't take a genius or a scientist to be able to pinpoint it. All three of the people he's closest to in the world, the ones who know him best, had deceived him - or, to be fair, had let him deceive himself. And as a result, all three - Sharon more than the others, but Steve and Natasha as well - had taken harm or have been placed at still-great risk of harm, harm he's desperate to defend them from somehow. When he looks at it that way, it's really no wonder why he's reacting as he is. It's also obvious to him that he can't allow it to continue.

Bucky sets his jaw in tight, grim lines, and keeps running.

Three hours later, he makes his way back inside, absently mopping the sweat from his face and neck with the discarded jacket, and goes to find Hogan. "Windows," he tells him. Whether or not he'll leave them uncovered doesn't matter, not now. "Lots of windows. Somewhere high, not too near people. Furnished however you do as standard's fine for now. Okay?"

"I've got just the one," Hogan tells him. "I'll have it ready tomorrow. That soon enough?"

"Yes," Bucky assures him. "Thanks."

He stays with Steve again that night. Things are a little strained at first, until Bucky breaks the ice and apologizes for how he's been reacting. Steve doesn't want his apology, but his best friend listens while he tries to explain, and that's more than good enough.

Later that evening, he texts Natasha to suggest they catch up soon, and offers to bring cocoa, hoping the idea'll amuse her enough for her to realize he's not angry. Not any more. He texts Alyona a picture of Steve's bike, one of the ones he'd taken hanging upside-down, just to say hi, and texts Sharon a good-night wish.

He doesn't sleep much, due to the incessant nightmares, but at least he knows the reason for them. It helps.

The coffee's already made when Steve gets up, and conversation's a lot more relaxed. He's the first to ask about getting on the training schedule, and Steve's smile lights up the room.

By 8:57 AM, Bucky's waiting in the same conference room as the day before, a mug of black coffee at hand, and a blank notepad and pen on the table in front of him.

Comments

[nerves_of_ice]

"Not just governments," he tells Riley, dry as dust. "I'm only surprised it took this long."

[marvel_npc]

"No," Riley agrees, "but those are the most obvious ones."

He looks at Ingrid. "We're not going to be able to keep Ross away forever. There's already precedent with the US Military's use of Colonel Rhodes, and Ross has been trying to get more control over them since SHIELD fell."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Do you need me to step out while you call your Ross?" he asks. "Don't worry, even if this guy gets away from Tony in the next five minutes, he won't find me if I don't want him to."

Bucky sounds absolutely confident.

[marvel_npc]

Riley looks faintly impressed. Ingrid takes a moment to be grateful he's been as available as he has been.

"No," Ingrid tells him. "It pertains to your personal safety, so you should be involved. If you're comfortable with that," she remembers to add. "Otherwise, Agent Riley and I will take care of it."

[nerves_of_ice]

"I'm fine with it," Bucky replies. Whether or not the deputy commander will be remains to be seen, but he can't say he doesn't take a dark sort of satisfaction in imagining the possible look on the man's face.

Bucky reminds himself that pissing off Sharon's boss won't do her any good, or him, or Steve, and nods to them.

"Whenever you're ready."

[marvel_npc]

Ingrid nods and opens her laptop, then shifts her seat so the screen can face all three of them before putting in a video call to Ross.

He's not going to be happy. Not about any of this. But then, neither is she.

[marvel_npc]

It's late afternoon in Berlin, and Everett Ross, having just sent a few analysts off to do further due diligence what they know about vibranium, is just starting to think that maybe he's got a handle on this day.

The second the call request chimes on his office screen, he curses himself for a fool and stabs at the icon to accept with more force than strictly needed. "What?" he snaps. "If you're going to tell me he's run off again--"

The image resolves clearly enough for him to see Barnes sitting right there with Riley and Nilsson, and he breathes a slight sigh of relief. "I guess not," he says, grudgingly. "Nilsson. Riley. ...Barnes. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

[marvel_npc]

"We have a situation here, sir," Ingrid says, without preamble. "The Secretary of State arrived to demand a meeting with the Sergeant. We held him off for the moment, but there's no doubt he'll keep making the attempt."

[nerves_of_ice]

Bucky watches as Ross lets out a strangled sound and rocks back in his chair. "What?" the other man demands. "What reason did he give?"

He hopes it's a rhetorical question, because otherwise this is going to be a long explanation.

[marvel_npc]

"A few, all of which boiled down to 'because he wanted to,'" Riley tells his boss. "And he made noises about 'America's new weapons program.'"

Ingrid's expression is subtle, but he can read her disgust in it as clear as day. "He's with Stark now."

[nerves_of_ice]

Ross's expression is thunderous, but it's clear he's thinking quickly. "And what do you have to say about it," he demands. Bucky shrugs.

"It was only a matter of time. The question was who was going to be the first one to make a move," he replies.

Ross stares at him. "Do you suspect everyone and everything?"

"Yes," Bucky tells him. "Don't you?"

[marvel_npc]

"That's my job," Ross tells him, and looks at the two agents. "Ideas?"

"I'm not certain membership in the Avengers will be enough to keep him away," Ingrid says, cool and contained. "Colonel Rhodes is an active member of the United States military, and there's no doubting that a team based in the United States and led by Captain America, himself a one-time military superweapon, is an easier target for the US government than most."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Colonel Rhodes is a military liaison," Bucky counters. "While he balances his dual responsibilities carefully, the chain of command there comes from his active service. The same argument wouldn't necessarily work for Sam Wilson, for example."

He looks as sour as he sounds, he's sure. "But neither of them has my baggage."

[marvel_npc]

"It's more of a toehold than I like," Ingrid says, and Ross nods. "The Secretary hasn't made any demands... yet. But I sincerely doubt he came all this way just to talk to the Sergeant."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Given his expression when he suggested Stark's block could be broken or removed, I'm betting he's going to make a play that letting Tony continue to have access to me will be irresponsible," Bucky says, bluntly. "I haven't heard an explosion from the conference room yet, so he might not have suggested it to Stark's face."

[marvel_npc]

"Hopefully Stark's lawyers are up to that task," Ross says, dry. "I'll have our legal team contact them. Agents, be thinking about ways to block the Secretary's access."

"Yes, sir," Ingrid tells him. "If nothing else works, I'll set Riley on him."

Riley just grins and doesn't argue, content in his skill set.

[nerves_of_ice]

“Sure you wouldn’t rather throw me in a cell?” Bucky drawls. Ross scowls at him. “Don’t tempt me, Barnes.”

[marvel_npc]

Ingrid's expression flattens further. The man is incorrigible. How Carter got anywhere with him at all is beyond her.

"Let's not," Riley says, easily. "For so many reasons. Sir, how do you want us to proceed for now?"

[nerves_of_ice]

“By the book,” Ross declares. “Use it to stall him. I’ll work on a few angles from this end. Tell Rogers and Stark I want to talk to them ASAP.”

His glance flicks to Bucky, who holds it in silence. “Stay out of his way,” Ross orders. “Don’t start trouble.”

[marvel_npc]

"Copy that." Riley glances at Ingrid, who nods. "We'll jump him through so many hoops he'll think he's a show dog."

[nerves_of_ice]

Bucky tips his head in a nod, but says nothing.

“See that you do,” Ross orders. “Keep me informed. Day or night.”

[marvel_npc]

"We will," Ingrid assures him. "Expect a call from Stark and Rogers. One of us will go find them after this."

[nerves_of_ice]

Ross nods, short and sharp. “If there’s nothing else, get to it, agents.”

Bucky glances sideways at the others.

[marvel_npc]

"Yes, sir," Ingrid tells him. "We'll keep you updated."

Riley lifts a hand in farewell, and she ends the call, then looks at the Sergeant. "Riley or I will find Captain Rogers and Stark," she tells him. "You can stay with whoever doesn't go, or... you said there were places you could go? Safe ones?"

[nerves_of_ice]

Bucky studies her in silence for a second, then nods. “But I need to talk to Steve.”