[Virginia AU] as sunshine flows into trees

[nerves_of_ice]

In the wake of his success creating the block, Pepper manages to coax Tony into coming back down to the city for what Tony says'll be 'a few days, maybe a week.' Bucky wonders how successful she'll be at keeping him there, given that part of the reason he'd moved fully into the compound to begin with was evidently the strain between them, but decides it's not really his business.

In Tony's absence, Steve doesn't think it's a good idea for him to be too far out of reach, just in case something comes up that needs the Avengers. Bucky finds this out when he broaches the idea of going back to Virginia for a day or two, if they can figure out a plausible excuse. He encourages Bucky to go with Sharon anyway, though, and to have fun.

Bucky's not sure if they can get away with it, but there's no question that it'll be easier without Pepper and Tony around to ask awkward questions. Still, he tries not to get his hopes up too high when he comes to find Sharon in the office after Steve heads down for a training session with the team.

He raps on the door with his right hand, and waits for her to answer.

Comments

[from_the_outside]

"I didn't want to waste the cake," she says, amused, and lowers the tray before taking a seat back on the quilt, curling her legs beneath herself.

"I thought we could use a snack."

[nerves_of_ice]

"I think that's a great idea." He leans forward over the tray to give her a quick kiss.

[from_the_outside]

She kisses him sweetly back, then offers him the mug of black coffee and one of the pieces of cake. "My mom texted again," she says, as she sips at her own coffee. "She said they'll call later tonight to chat."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Sounds good," he says, accepting both. "I should call Steve, too."

[from_the_outside]

"Definitely," she says, amused. "This is almost the longest you two have been apart since you first reunited."

[nerves_of_ice]

"You know, I guess it is," he says, startled. "Second longest must have been the Lagos mission."

Which hadn't turned out well for them at the time, he realizes, and winces.

"I'll call him after this."

[from_the_outside]

"Okay," she says, peaceably, and breaks off a piece of the cake to eat. It's moist and spiced and lightly sweet and delicious with the coffee, exactly as asked. "I'm sure he'll appreciate that."

[nerves_of_ice]

He makes a noncommittal sound and takes a sip of coffee, then a bit of cake.

"Do you need to check in with Ross?"

[from_the_outside]

She looks wry. "I checked in with him this morning," she tells him. "I'll give him a call tomorrow, like usual. But better not to give him any reason to think we're doing anything out of the ordinary."

[nerves_of_ice]

"No, definitely better," he murmurs, studying her expression. Bucky opens his mouth to say something else, then thinks better of it and takes another sip of coffee instead.

[from_the_outside]

That's the second time today he's started to say something and changed his mind halfway through. She frowns at him over her coffee cup.

"What?"

[nerves_of_ice]

He nods to show he's heard her and needs a moment to think. Bucky concentrates on the cup in his hand and on the sweet taste of the cake for a few seconds before he finally admits,

"I don't know what to do, baby. How to fix it. The longer we're together, the worse it'll be for you if you're compromised. But I'm too selfish to leave you."

[from_the_outside]

Her heart staggers in her chest as she watches him from over her coffee cup. She has to put it down after a second, worried she might actually drop it and spill hot coffee all over herself and the quilt.

"Please tell me you weren't actually considering that as an option," she says, as lightly as possible.

[nerves_of_ice]

He shakes his head: no, he wasn't.

"I'm too selfish," he says again, ignoring the flashes of light at the corners of his vision. They're not as intense as they have been in the past, mitigated by a deeper knowledge that he reminds her of, adding, "And I know if you wanted me to go you'd tell me. But I don't."

[from_the_outside]

She puts her plate down and reaches for his hand to squeeze his fingers in mute gratitude.

"I'm not sure what to do, either," she murmurs. "There's no way Ross will let me stay as liaison once he knows."

[nerves_of_ice]

He squeezes back and brings her hand to his lips to kiss her palm, cupping her fingers against his cheek.

"We don't have to talk about it now if you don't want to," he murmurs. "I just - you should know I've been thinking about it."

He draws a slow breath, choosing each word carefully. "It's more important that your career be protected than that you stay as liaison, I think."

[from_the_outside]

She curves her hand gently at his cheek and runs the pad of her thumb lightly over his bottom lip.

"If not now, then soon," she murmurs. "I don't know how long he'll think I need to be here, now that the block's in place."

[nerves_of_ice]

Bucky nods, slow and careful so as not to dislodge her hand.

"If you go back - when you go back," he says. "I know Steve'll want to keep working on the pardon. Which, hell, who knows, might actually even happen."

It's been a long time since he's allowed himself to feel any real hope, but he hadn't believed the block would truly be possible either, had he? Maybe things can be worked out.

"I could ask you out, officially, once you're not responsible for me. You could disclose it. Would that work?"

[from_the_outside]

"It might," she admits, and lifts her hand to run her fingers over his ear. "But I'd still be there and you'd still be here."

Still, it's something. An option. Maybe.

[nerves_of_ice]

He tilts his head into her caress as a faint shiver runs through him.

"I'm used to travel," he murmurs.

[from_the_outside]

She smiles, faintly, and lets her hand rest at the curve of his neck and shoulder, her thumb running over the rise of his collarbone beneath his shirt. "I'm selfish, too," she murmurs. "I want to stay close to you."

[nerves_of_ice]

"We're here now," he says, softly. Careful not to spill their coffee, Bucky lifts her into his arms and settles her in his lap, keeping his arms around her.

[from_the_outside]

She puts her arms around his neck and nudges her forehead against his temple. "You might need me," she says, just as soft. "Who's going to yell at Tony Stark if I'm not around?"

[nerves_of_ice]

"I have to admit you're pretty good at that," he murmurs, and turns his head to kiss her.

"But that's not the only reason I need you."

[from_the_outside]

"I need you, too."

Her voice is quiet and the kiss she gives him is gentle, her fingers toying lightly with the ends of his hair. "If I can disclose it," she murmurs. "If we go aboveboard with it, maybe he'd consider the liaison position. Make it less about you, more about the Avengers and the Task Force working together."