[Virginia AU] as sunshine flows into trees

[nerves_of_ice]

In the wake of his success creating the block, Pepper manages to coax Tony into coming back down to the city for what Tony says'll be 'a few days, maybe a week.' Bucky wonders how successful she'll be at keeping him there, given that part of the reason he'd moved fully into the compound to begin with was evidently the strain between them, but decides it's not really his business.

In Tony's absence, Steve doesn't think it's a good idea for him to be too far out of reach, just in case something comes up that needs the Avengers. Bucky finds this out when he broaches the idea of going back to Virginia for a day or two, if they can figure out a plausible excuse. He encourages Bucky to go with Sharon anyway, though, and to have fun.

Bucky's not sure if they can get away with it, but there's no question that it'll be easier without Pepper and Tony around to ask awkward questions. Still, he tries not to get his hopes up too high when he comes to find Sharon in the office after Steve heads down for a training session with the team.

He raps on the door with his right hand, and waits for her to answer.

Comments

[from_the_outside]

She nods. "Would it help to talk about it?"

[nerves_of_ice]

"I don't know." He refocuses on her face. "We can. If you want. But first - we can set things up back in the other apartment. And spend time there."

[from_the_outside]

"Would that be okay?" she murmurs. "I don't want to make you have to choose where to be."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Of course it's okay." He makes it firm and sure, needing her to believe him.

"I don't know what the h-- what I'm doing, baby, but that's different. I think."

[from_the_outside]

"Okay."

She reaches up to comb her fingers lightly through his hair. "Maybe I can help you figure that other part out."

[nerves_of_ice]

He holds still as she runs her fingers through his hair, smiling a little.

"Maybe."

[from_the_outside]

"Whenever you're ready," she murmurs, and smiles back at him. "We've had a lot going on, lately. It's nice to just take a break."

[nerves_of_ice]

"I'll have to figure it out soon," he murmurs. "But it doesn't have to be today."

[from_the_outside]

"No, it doesn't have to be today."

She runs her thumb lightly over his temple, then dips her head to kiss his collarbone. "But if it's on your mind, I want to help."

[nerves_of_ice]

"It is, but..." He starts to shrug again, then holds still instead as she kisses him.

"I don't know if there's anyone who can. Help, I mean. I just ... I have to figure things out.""

[from_the_outside]

She frowns, very slightly. "Figure what out, baby?"

Her fingers skate along the side of his neck to his shoulder, trying to soothe.

[nerves_of_ice]

"Well, everything," he says, quiet. "If I'm not going to be locked in a cell forever, I mean."

[from_the_outside]

"That's a lot to try and tackle all by yourself," she muses. "Why do you think we wouldn't be able to help you with it?"

[nerves_of_ice]

"Because I don't know what I'm supposed to do," he tells her. "I know what Steve wants. At least I think I do. And I know some of what you want. But I don't know..."

Words fail him, and he shakes his head and stops talking.

[from_the_outside]

She makes a soft sound of understanding and presses her mouth lightly to his skin.

"It's true we can't figure that out for you," she agrees, softly. "But we can still help. And... I don't know, baby. Have you ever thought about talking to someone who can help you work through some of this stuff? One of Sam's doctors, maybe?"

[nerves_of_ice]

This time he does shrug.

"Not really, no."

[from_the_outside]

"If my advice would be helpful," she murmurs, "I'd say think about it. Maybe talk to Sam. I don't want you to feel like you have to figure everything out all by yourself."

[nerves_of_ice]

He nods. "It's just - it's been a while," he says, wryly.

"It's why I was trying things. In Bucharest."

[from_the_outside]

"I know, baby."

She shifts to lift her head and look down at him. "You could start trying some things again, if that would help. Steve and I could help you come up with options."

[nerves_of_ice]

"I don't know if it would or not," Bucky tells her, point-blank but gentle. "I don't know if it was there. I just didn't know what else to do. Since D.C. was the first time since before the war that I was my own person, at least a little."

[from_the_outside]

"No way to find out but to try it," she points out.

"I just don't want everything you do to be defined by what Steve or I want, baby."

[nerves_of_ice]

He nods. "That's why I have to figure it out."

It's clear from the tone of his voice that he thinks she understands the problem he's been struggling with.

[from_the_outside]

She sighs a little and nods. "Okay, baby," she says. "Just let me know if I can help."

[nerves_of_ice]

"I will." He wraps both arms around her and leans down to kiss her.

[from_the_outside]

Maybe it would be better for her to push at it until he actually spells out what's bothering him, but the last thing she wants is for him to lock up and backpedal away. Which is a shame, because delicacy has never been her strong suit. Or her preferred method, if she's really being honest.

She kisses him gently back and gives him a faint smile, then pushes up to retrieve the strawberries. "Want another one?"