[WWII AU] a long-awaited mission

[nerves_of_ice]

He'd wondered what was up when Steve had asked him to join the strategy meeting with him and Colonel Phillips that morning, just after breakfast. His best friend had tried to keep it casual, given that the guys were around, but Bucky can still read him as easy as any book.

It had taken less than three minutes for him to realize, and a solid five hours for them to plan the details of the mission. They'd worked through lunch, and by the time he leaves officers' country, Bucky's nearly vibrating with excitement.

Zola. After all this time, they've finally got a lead on the son-of-a-bitch. And it's a good one. First Zola, then Schmidt, and then--

He doesn't let himself think about that yet. He can't. Bucky reminds himself to stay focused as he moves quickly along the hallways, heading for the weapons room.

They'll all be getting the official orders at the afternoon's training session, but he can't sit still. Not now. Might as well check over his gear and make sure everything's as tuned up as it can possibly be.

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[nerves_of_ice]

“So did you.” There’s a hint of teasing in his smile, but the look in his eyes is serious. “From that very first night.”

[from_the_outside]

She leans her head forward and nudges her forehead against his, sharing breath a moment. "Star-gazing."

That little lamp he'd bought for her is pressed into service most evenings, letting her lie back on her narrow bed and pretend she's back there on the hill with him. "Even if I never get back, it'll have been worth it."

[nerves_of_ice]

“See, that’s just another reason I have to be careful.” He raises his free hand to cup her cheek. “If you- if you didn’t make it back, I’d want to make sure you were happy.”

[from_the_outside]

She knows Phillips is starting to reconsider the amount of time and resources they're spending on trying to get her home. As far as he's concerned, she's a permanent fixture, unless someone from the future yanks her back again.

She tips her head into his touch. "I'm holding you to that, soldier."

[nerves_of_ice]

“You can, you know.” Whisper-soft and deeply, deeply sincere. “You’re really special to me, angel.”

[from_the_outside]

"Good," she murmurs. "I will."

Her hand curves gently against his jaw. "You're really special to me, too."

[nerves_of_ice]

“Would you—-“

He draws a deep breath. “I didn’t want you to think I was giving up. But if you’re still here, after the war… I think you’d like Brooklyn.”

[from_the_outside]

She's not sure what she was expecting him to say, but it certainly wasn't that.

"You want me to come back with you to Brooklyn?"

[nerves_of_ice]

Bucky meets her eyes. He can hear his heart pounding in his ears. “Yes.”

Half a breath later, he stumbles over himself to add, “I know you’re — you’d have options. You could go anywhere. And you don’t have to answer now. Just think about it, maybe.”

[from_the_outside]

Five minutes ago, she could have sworn she wouldn't ever feel like smiling again. But he meets her glance and confirms, and she can't stop the slow, astonished grin. "Think about it?"

A giddy laugh is trying to spill out from her chest. "I don't have to think about it. I'll go. I'd go in a heartbeat."

[nerves_of_ice]

Bucky grins, bright as sunlight, and leans in to kiss her.

“It’s - that doesn’t mean I’m giving up. But I - I wanted you to know.”

[from_the_outside]

"I know you're not, baby."

Her smile crooks against his kiss, before she pulls away. "I'm not, either, but... it's been months. At a certain point, we have to be realistic."

[nerves_of_ice]

“Let’s see what happens once we get that blasted cube. I figure that’s the most likely thing to turn the trick.”

The corner of his mouth quirks, wry. “One step closer.”

[from_the_outside]

"One step closer."

Get the cube. Get him back safe. But –

She can't help a huff of laughter at the thought of Aunt Peggy's reaction to learning she's planning to run off and live in sin with Bucky in Brooklyn. She might rip his whole ear off his head.

[nerves_of_ice]

“What’s funny?” he asks, smiling.

[from_the_outside]

"Just thinking you should tuck those ears under a cap before Aunt Peggy catches wind of any plan like that," she says, reaching up to tug teasingly on his ear.

[nerves_of_ice]

“You let me worry about that,” he says, firmly. He’s pretty sure he’s got a handle on what to do there. And after all, Peggy Carter’s likely to have her own reasons to want to spend time in Brooklyn, too.

[from_the_outside]

"Okay."

She lowers her hand and curves it at the side of his neck, sobering. "But first things first. You get back in one piece, and we'll go from there."

[nerves_of_ice]

“First things first,” he echoes. Bucky glances down at her sketch. “Right.”

He draws a slow breath. “It’s going to be a heck of a session with the squad today.”

[from_the_outside]

She nods, watching him as he looks down at the sketch.

"When's the mission?"

[nerves_of_ice]

“Within the week. We’ve got to act fast to be in place before Zola moves. We can’t afford to miss this chance,” Bucky tells her.

[from_the_outside]

Within the week. It sends another shock through her. This could all be taken away so quickly. How could she have let it sneak up on her? Did she really believe history would have been changed?

She nods again, wanting to hold onto him with both hands – him, and the dream of a future together. "I know you'll have the meeting soon," she murmurs. "And it'll be a lot of prep before... before. But tonight? Can I come see you tonight?"

[nerves_of_ice]

"I'd come looking for you if you didn't." Soft, but certain. He draws her a little closer to him for a second, then relaxes his embrace so he doesn't crush her into not being able to breathe.

There's a lot he's going to have to do in the next few days. Time he'll want to spend with people, just in case. Especially her, and especially Steve.

He's not going to go down easy, but it's hard to shake the feeling that he's a dead man walking.

[from_the_outside]

"Okay."

She puts her arms around his neck and holds him close in return. Impossible to imagine how he must be feeling, having received a death sentence, but maybe he's right, maybe they can avert it. Maybe that really is why she's here. "Then I will."

[nerves_of_ice]

He turns his face into her hair as she embrace him and lets himself take a moment. Just one, or maybe two.

"Don't tell Steve," he whispers. "If I can't - if I can't avoid it, I'll do it myself. But don't put this on his shoulders, okay? Let me try to carry it."