[WWII AU] a long-awaited mission

[nerves_of_ice]

He'd wondered what was up when Steve had asked him to join the strategy meeting with him and Colonel Phillips that morning, just after breakfast. His best friend had tried to keep it casual, given that the guys were around, but Bucky can still read him as easy as any book.

It had taken less than three minutes for him to realize, and a solid five hours for them to plan the details of the mission. They'd worked through lunch, and by the time he leaves officers' country, Bucky's nearly vibrating with excitement.

Zola. After all this time, they've finally got a lead on the son-of-a-bitch. And it's a good one. First Zola, then Schmidt, and then--

He doesn't let himself think about that yet. He can't. Bucky reminds himself to stay focused as he moves quickly along the hallways, heading for the weapons room.

They'll all be getting the official orders at the afternoon's training session, but he can't sit still. Not now. Might as well check over his gear and make sure everything's as tuned up as it can possibly be.

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[nerves_of_ice]

He tips his head forward, resting his forehead against hers. "My mind's all awhirl," he confesses. "But I know a couple of things for sure. I want to protect Steve, and I want to come back to you both when this mission's over."

[from_the_outside]

"Bucky – "

She hates feeling helpless with a burning fury, but there's not a damn thing she can do about this, more than what she's done. Not unless she can somehow sneak onto the mission herself. "You'd better."

Her hand curls around the back of his neck. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

[nerves_of_ice]

He tilts his head to the side and captures her mouth in a deep, passionate kiss as he pulls her against him. When it breaks, he whispers, "I'll do everything I can, darling. Believe me, they won't take me down easy."

[from_the_outside]

She makes a small sound into the kiss, returns it with all the desperation kept leashed in her chest. "Damn right," she murmurs. "You don't get to make me fall for you and then leave me alone."

[nerves_of_ice]

"I want you to see Brooklyn with me," he breathes. "See the stars with you from a rooftop and watch the city lights sparkle around us. Show you Coney Island and try to win you a prize or two. Go to a Dodgers game. Take you dancing."

He pulls back a little and manages a teasing smile. "So you see, I have to come back."

[from_the_outside]

"I want that, too."

In this moment, here with him, where everything suddenly feels to fragile, she wants it more than anything. "I want to come to Brooklyn. I want to meet your sisters. I want you to have a long, happy life. And if I get to be part of it, for however long I can... I'll be the luckiest girl in the world."

[nerves_of_ice]

He traces the arch of her cheekbone with his thumb, then cups her face with his hand. "You've already made me the luckiest man, you know that, right?"

[from_the_outside]

"Let's hope you are."

The luckiest man. And that his luck doesn't run out. "I could find a way. Get Stark to fly me out. Get on that train with you."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Darling, it wouldn't work. We're riding a cable down from the mountainside to drop on the train as it goes through the pass. There's nowhere to land, and no way his plane wouldn't be noticed," Bucky tells her.

[from_the_outside]

She could press the matter, say she'll sneak onto the team just as they leave, before Phillips can stop her, but then Steve really would know something was wrong. "I hate feeling like there's nothing I can do."

[nerves_of_ice]

“You’re trying to save my life.” Bucky touches her cheek again. “You’ve done more than should even be possible.”

[from_the_outside]

"It's a life well worth saving."

Worth everything she's sacrificed, and more. "Come back to me. I won't be able to forgive myself if you don't."

[nerves_of_ice]

“My guardian angel.” Bucky hugs her tight and holds on. “If time itself couldn’t keep us apart, what chance do some HYDRA scum have?”

[from_the_outside]

"True."

Still, she holds him tightly back, like he might get tugged away from her at any second. "Come back," she whispers, leaning her head against his. "And when the war's over, we'll go visit that little cottage near the old camp, one more time."

[nerves_of_ice]

“I’ll go with you anywhere,” he promises. “Anywhere you want.”

[from_the_outside]

"I'm holding you to that, Barnes," she says, soft, and tips her head to press a gentle kiss to the side of his neck. "And you don't want to disappoint me. I can be a real jerk about it."

[nerves_of_ice]

He shivers a little at the feel of her mouth on his skin. “I’ll have to remember that.”

[from_the_outside]

Her eyes flutter closed as he shivers, and she kisses him again, feeling the steady pulse of his blood beneath her lips. After, she leans back and slips a handkerchief from her pocket, wiping the lipstick print off his skin.

"I know you can't stay now," she murmurs. "But I'll come to your room later."

[nerves_of_ice]

“I’ll look for you,” he murmurs. “But you’re right. I have to meet the squad.”

And then spend the early evening with Steve, he figures.

[from_the_outside]

"Will you be okay?"

Unfair to ask. No one should be forced to act like everything's all right when they've learned what he's learned today.

[nerves_of_ice]

“I better be.” He manages a wry smile. “We’ve got a lot of work to do.”

[from_the_outside]

"Please think about telling Steve," she asks him, her voice soft but firm. "Don't decide just yet. Okay?"

[nerves_of_ice]

“I’ll think about it.” It sounds reluctant, and that’s how he feels about it, but he’s all too well aware that he might not be able to hide it. The best he can offer is this compromise.

Slowly, he shifts position, getting ready to let her go and get to his feet. “Where do you have to be next?”

[from_the_outside]

"I'll go see Aunt Peggy, I guess."

Although maybe she shouldn't. She's not sure she can slip the mask back on just yet. "I'm supposed to have dinner with her later."

[nerves_of_ice]

“Okay.” Time feels like it’s racing past all of a sudden. He wonders if that’s going to keep happening.

Bucky hugs her again, then makes himself let go and stands. “I’ll see you tonight, angel.”