[WWII AU] a brand new day

[nerves_of_ice]

Bucky wakes in the predawn darkness, long before reveille would normally be called. He spends a few minutes reviewing the mission in his head before he rolls from his cot; there's no room to think about anything else. He meets Steve and the rest of the Howling Commandos at five-fifteen. As planned, they're on the move before the hour has passed.

It's a long day, a hard day, but in the end a successful day, for the most part. The hidden facility carved into the hillside is no more when they leave, HYDRA's agents defeated, their stockpiles destroyed. But there's still no sign of Schmidt, nor of Zola, and that remains incredibly frustrating.

Still, there's reason to celebrate today's win, and the squad's more or less exuberant on their return, some fourteen or so hours later. Steve disappears into the command tent to debrief with Colonel Phillips; Bucky'll catch up with him afterward, as usual. He spends a few minutes trading quips with the others before disappearing to weapons storage to see to his own rifle - also as usual. Something about taking care of it helps him feel like he's cleaning the blood off his own hands.

After that, he finds he's too restless to settle yet, and figures it's not the best idea for him to be around others until he sorts himself out. Bucky wanders along the edge of camp in the dark, then veers from the path and off into the field where he'd spent some time watching the stars only a couple of days ago.

It should be peaceful there, more or less.

Comments

[nerves_of_ice]

"My pleasure, Agent," he murmurs, drawing her close to his side. "Any time."

[from_the_outside]

She rests her head against his shoulder for a second... then lets herself linger there a moment longer.

"I'm looking forward to our date," she murmurs.

[nerves_of_ice]

"So am I," Bucky tells her. "Day after tomorrow. I can't wait."

[from_the_outside]

"Me neither."

She smiles over at him. "We're going to have a lot of fun."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Count on it." He leans over to give her a quick kiss, then starts leading her back from the field along the edge of camp.

[from_the_outside]

The camp's quiet at this time of night, and no one interrupts them as they make their way around the edge toward her quarters. Which is probably for the best; she's not sure she was able to see all the smudges of her lipstick on his skin, and if they run into Aunt Peggy again, she knows her aunt would be able to zoom in on any irregularity with eagle-eyed precision.

[nerves_of_ice]

All too soon, they're standing in front of her quarters. Bucky puts his free hand over hers on his arm and gives her fingers a light squeeze.

"Have a good night, Agent Carter," he says, properly, mischief dancing in his eyes. "I'll see you tomorrow at the assessment, if not before."

[from_the_outside]

"Very good, Sergeant," she says, politely. "Thank you for escorting me back. Have a lovely rest of your night."

She squeezes his arm and slips her hand away, then ducks into her quarters without a second glance back.

[nerves_of_ice]

He's smiling when he turns away, and smiling as he makes his way back to his quarters - where he stops, surprised to see a dim light from inside.

He knows he hadn't been so distracted as to leave a lantern lit, which means there's one likely reason. Bucky takes a deep breath and pulls the tent flap open, then ducks inside.

[marvel_npc]

Steve glances up from where he's sitting on the camp stool, marking his page in the paperback book that had been sitting nearby. From the thickness of the paper between his thumb and the cover, he's been here for a while. "Hey, pal."

He studies Bucky carefully. Is it his imagination, or does his best friend look a little more rumpled than usual? "Go out for a walk?"

[nerves_of_ice]

"Over to the field," Bucky agrees. He eases past Steve and takes a seat on the end of the cot. A quick glance at the book's enough to tell him that Steve must have left the pub not long after he did, but he manages to keep his wince internal.

His smile's easy and sincere. "Checking on me, Rogers?"

It wouldn't be the first time, and they both know it, just as they both know Bucky's not bothered by it and would do the same himself - and has.

[marvel_npc]

"Maybe it's not such a bad thing I am."

His glance falls on Bucky's collar, where something bright is smudged – and as he looks up, he realizes there's a faint streak of the same crimson just beneath Bucky's ear. It's blurred, like someone tried to rub it away, and as he realizes what it is he can feel his own face heating with a blush. "Were you out there alone?"

[nerves_of_ice]

Bucky raises his eyebrows at that observation. "Oh?"

Steve's question catches him off guard, but given the way his best friend's glance drops to his neck and the way he flushes, he's pretty sure Steve already knows the answer to that. Bucky allows himself a second to be grateful that they hadn't run into Peggy tonight, too, and shakes his head.

"I think you already know I wasn't," he says. Bucky leans over to pull his shaving kit from his pack and takes out the tiny mirror. One quick glance is all he needs, and he sighs and reaches for his washrag.

[marvel_npc]

Steve sets the book aside and steeples his fingers together, watching as Bucky wipes away all the evidence of... whatever happened earlier tonight. "Buck," he says, and sighs.

"I don't want to get into your business. But are you sure you know what you're doing?"

[nerves_of_ice]

"Who else, if not you?" he asks. Bucky finishes cleaning up and sets rag and mirror aside, then meets his best friend's worried glance without evasion. "I don't have any secrets, Steve. Never from you."

Bucky shakes his head and gives him a small, rueful smile. "Honestly? No, I'm not, but it's a chance I've got to take."

[marvel_npc]

"Is it?"

He says it with deep, deep sympathy and understanding, the kind that never needs to be spoken between them. "You know I think she's a swell gal, Bucky, but she's not from here. She can't stay. What happens to you when she goes home again?"

[nerves_of_ice]

"I know she can't." He says it softly, so softly it's almost hard to hear. "It'd be wrong of me to wish she could. She's got a family waiting for her; parents, friends, the whole future."

Bucky stares at the floor for a second as he takes a deep breath and lets it out slow, then looks up at Steve. "I don't know what happens to me when she goes. But I'd rather have wonderful memories of what was than always be wondering about what might have been."

[marvel_npc]

What might have been. It's not the same, he argues with himself. Peggy isn't going to be lost to the future. When the war is over –

He shakes the thought from his head and focuses back on his best friend. "But do you?" he asks.

His voice is very, very gentle. "Wish she could stay?"

It's fast. But it's wartime. And he knows how he felt when he met Peggy; like a bolt from the blue had struck him where he stood.

[nerves_of_ice]

He's unaware of how his slight smile softens, of the wistful look in his eyes. "She wrote a note to the girls, you know; I put it in with my letter and yours."

He meets Steve's glance and shrugs. "I can't let myself wish for something that'd make her unhappy. Even if it might be one of the best things that ever happened to me."

Bucky chuckles, just a little. "You're probably thinking it's too early to think like that. Maybe it is. But she's something special, all right."

[marvel_npc]

Steve shakes his head, negating Bucky's opinion of his thoughts. In times like this, people grab what happiness they can... or so he's observed. A few weeks, a whirlwind romance has wound up more than once with an engagement, men and women just hoping to make it to the end of the war to make the dream real.

Bucky's got too good a head on his shoulders to lose it over some dame; even a girl like Agent Carter – the second Agent Carter. But Steve doesn't miss the way his expression softens, how he looks when he thinks about what can't be. "Becky's going to be pretty curious," he offers. "What are you going to tell her?"

[nerves_of_ice]

Bucky laughs. "A little curiosity'll be good for her. No, I'll just tell her that Sharon's Peggy's niece, and temporarily on assignment here with us." He shrugs. "She is, after all."

[marvel_npc]

"She is, but..."

He shakes his head and studies Bucky, his blue eyes earnest and concerned. "She's going to know something's different, Buck. You know she will. And I can see it, too. I've never seen you get quite like this with a dame. A – I mean, a girl. Woman."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Like I said," he murmurs, "she's something special."

He reaches out to grip Steve's arm. "I know you're worried. Hell, you're probably right to be. But I don't know what else to do, Steve. I'd regret it for the rest of my life if I backed away now just to save myself a little heartache down the line."

[marvel_npc]

Steve does his best to smile, reassuring, but he can't hide the worry in his clear blue eyes.

"I just want you to be happy, Buck," he says, low. "That's all. I don't want to see you get hurt."

[nerves_of_ice]

"I know," Bucky says, and his smile is bright and heartstoppingly sweet. "And right now, I am. Let's start with that, huh, pal? Let tomorrow take care of itself."