[oom] i wake to sleep and take my waking slow

[nerves_of_ice]

The first few days after Bucky goes under are spent in data analysis and quality assurance. There's a lot of information in the human mind, after all. Much of it is messy and complicated and stored in structures that are interconnected in unexpected ways. And when it comes to a project like this, something that's never truly been done before with a biological mind versus synthetic structures and artificial intelligence, something that has the highest of stakes, there's no second chance and thus no room for error.

Shuri spends her time focused on the mission during the first few days, leaving the majority of the data integrity checks to her technical team. She reviews their work at the start and end of each day when she comes to check on her sleeping patient, making corrections to methods and systems and processes where needed. She makes sure that there are two untouched backups of the original digital representation stored safely at all times in case they have to start over. Finally, they're able to confirm that everything is prepared, that the digital representation is not only complete but stable, and that the real work is ready to begin.

Once the mission's done, she turns the weapon prototype and its blueprints over to a few of her most highly-trusted developers for analysis and immerses herself in Bucky's mind. She'd already drafted the initial algorithm, of course, and has spent nearly three months refining it against the initial scans, every additional scan she's done since, the data from the notebooks Bucky'd kept and the memories he'd written down. She doesn't think it'll take too long to finish it.

It takes weeks.

She ruins multiple copies of the digital representation in the first two weeks while testing the algorithm against it - first in simulation and then in practice. It's the practical part that turns out to be problematic. During the first few tests, her code destroys HYDRA's trigger programming as intended, but then also devours the memories attached to it and proceeds to spread like a virus through everything it can reach. The next series of tests fails to fully eliminate the triggers, and post-implementation simulation reveals that the damaged programming, if not fully removed, will destabilize the mind entirely over time, leaving the subject lost to madness or dementia or both. Shuri refuses to allow any of it. Even the possibility is too much. Nothing must be left to chance. Nothing of harm must be allowed to remain.

Meanwhile, silent in the cryo chamber, Bucky sleeps on.

They're into the third week before the first test is passed. All work comes to a halt in the lab as they stare at the displays. No one dares breathe until the test is repeated. When the second series of results flashes up on screen, showing success across every aspect, the lab explodes in cheers. Instead of becoming easier, Shuri's work becomes even more painstaking and demanding, as she sets out to ensure the smallest nuances are fully refined. She creates additional copies and runs the algorithm against them under high-strain conditions. She practices transitioning the new digital copy from server to server to server, trying to eliminate any and all possibility of data loss during transfer.

At the end of the third week, she sends for T'Challa.

____________________

The first thing he's aware of is the cold. This kind of cold he knows all too well. It chills all the way to the bone, pinning him in place with frigid air around him and a cold surface under him. He's too cold even to shiver. Bucky can't move or speak, or do anything at all other than lie still and quiet, listening to the soft hissing sound that's the only thing he can hear.

He drifts in and out of awareness for a while as the light around him gets brighter and the temperature starts to rise. It's not until there's a loud 'click' and the hum of the cryo chamber opening that he finally opens his eyes.

Comments

[nerves_of_ice]

"Good news all around then," Bucky says, and Steve puts a hand on his shoulder and squeezes briefly.

"Better believe it."

[from_the_outside]

It is. It was. She focuses on her food and makes a sound of agreement.

There was a lot to do and they not only did it, but did it well, thanks to the skills of the Dora and T'Challa's generosity... and Fury's intel.

(What they don't have, now that Kwan is dead, is a lead on this Power Broker in Madripoor. Fury's working on it, she knows, but she doesn't like it.)

"Also, Ndela got stuck climbing a tree," she tells him. "So I helped her get back down again."

That Ndela. Always getting into trouble. She's a doll after Sharon's own heart.

[nerves_of_ice]

"You know, I would ask why she was climbing it in the first place, but I'm sure she had a good reason," he drawls. "Like to pick stars or something."

"Oh!" Shuri exclaims. "I like that idea." Okoye gives her a slightly wary look, T'Challa a curious one.

"Why? Do you want to pick stars?"

[from_the_outside]

"Who wouldn't?" says Shuri, reasonably, and Sharon laughs.

"Sort of," she tells Bucky. "She wanted to climb high enough to see the ocean, apparently."

There are carafes of wine at the table; she pours herself a glass, her left hand going to his leg beneath the table. Not for anything funny, just...

She missed him. And she almost can't believe he's right here, solid and warm and real. So she lets her hand rest on his leg for a little while, just to make sure of it.

"Did she?" Nakia wants to know, and Sharon shrugs.

"I don't know. She got stuck halfway up."

[nerves_of_ice]

Steve chuckles. "Brave kid."

"She really is," Bucky agrees. He shifts just a little, pressing his leg against Sharon's hand in lieu of squeezing her fingers, then settles again. "She's basically fearless."

"She takes after her grandmother in that way," Okoye agrees.

[from_the_outside]

"Oh, Chichima didn't get stuck halfway up," Sharon explains, curving her hand over Bucky's leg beneath the table. "Ndela did. I'm pretty sure Chichima just tossed her up there."

Her smile is fond. She enjoys all the kids, but she finds Chichima especially fun. "She is fearless, though. And imaginative."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Wait, Chichima didn't go up after her?" he asks, startled. "I figured you had to rescue them both."

[from_the_outside]

"It was higher than she was supposed to go," Sharon explains. "And into the thin whippy branches at the top. She might be fearless, but she's a smart girl – she knows what's safe and what isn't."

[nerves_of_ice]

"A very smart girl," Nakia agrees. Bucky nods, and eyes Sharon.

"So instead you climbed into the 'thin whippy branches'?"

[from_the_outside]

"Better me than her," she points out, a grin threatening at the corner of her mouth.

"But I didn't have to climb all the way. I could shake Ndela up once I got high enough."

[nerves_of_ice]

Beside him, Steve sighs, and Bucky shoots him an amused look.

"Don't tell me you wouldn't have done the same."

"I would not," Ayo observes. "I would have used the end of my spear to stir the branches."

[from_the_outside]

Sharon points to Ayo and takes a sip of her wine. "A spear," she says. "If I had a spear, I could have done that."

"Couldn't you have tossed a rock or something to loosen it?" Nakia asks, and Sharon looks at her, aghast.

"Throw a rock at Ndela? Nakia, please. She has feelings."

[nerves_of_ice]

T'Challa smiles at Nakia, as Ayo informs Sharon,

"You would make a better War Dog than one of the Dora."

[from_the_outside]

"I believe it," she says, dry. She's always been more spy than soldier.

"I'm glad to hear there was a happy ending," says T'Challa, as Sharon turns back to her dinner.

"Like you said, Buck," says Steve, amused. "Good news all around."

[nerves_of_ice]

He laughs and tips a glass to Steve before he goes back to eating. The camaraderie around the table is warm and relaxing, and Bucky finds himself doing just that.

Eventually, they're all settled in various chairs around the room, chatting comfortably.

[from_the_outside]

She's still sticking close – and so is Steve, she notices. It's not so obvious, maybe, but he seems to always be close enough to put a hand on Bucky's shoulder or back or to jostle him as they laugh over some funny story or shared joke.

The wine and the company make it a little easier, at least. She can relax, doesn't have to be touching him all the time – but she still feels it thrumming in her blood: the need to make sure, to be certain.

It's fine. They have time, now. Real time, not just a week and a half.

(He's been under twice as long as they've been together, and that hardly seems fair.)

Still: she sticks close. And if the others notice, as they surely do, they turn an indulgent blind eye to it.

[nerves_of_ice]

There's still a long way to go, he knows. Soon he'll talk with Shuri about her designs and her ideas to replace his arm; soon, he'll talk with T'Challa to learn if there's anything in particular he wants from the White Wolf, and with Steve - and Sharon, now - to figure out a few things depending on what the king and princess of Wakanda have to say.

But all that can wait until tomorrow. For now, for tonight, he feels like an impossible weight has been lifted from every part of him. He's light-hearted, nearly dizzy with it, and truly, simply, happy.

[from_the_outside]

There's a tacit "no business talk" understanding tonight. They've been so focused on the mission and Bucky's procedure, and they all need a night off.

Well. Not off, exactly. Okoye and Ayo excuse themselves a little while after dinner: they both have duties to attend to and people of their own to see.

That leaves the rest of them in a loose circle of chairs, sipping wine or beer and laughing as T'Challa relates some of the more amusing anecdotes from his time thus far as king or as Steve tells them about Sam's ongoing mission to get Nat to pet Redwing.

It's nice. It's more than nice; it's just about perfect.

[nerves_of_ice]

Shuri's the first one to start fading, which is only understandable, Bucky thinks, given how much stress she's been under for the past several weeks. Eventually, T'Challa leans over to give her shoulder a gentle shake. "Go to sleep," he tells her, fondness clear in look and tone.

"But--" she protests, looking around the room. Bucky nods at her too, and smiles. "We'll still be here tomorrow," he points out, and the quiet delight of being able to do so bubbles in him like champagne.

[from_the_outside]

"But not here, here," Sharon teases, and Shuri rolls her eyes. "Fine," she says, lifting her hands in capitulation and getting up from her seat. "Then... I will see you tomorrow."

She looks at them in turn, but her last bright glance is for Bucky before she heads to the door, weary triumph in the straight line of her shoulders.

[nerves_of_ice]

He watches her go, then turns back to find T'Challa watching him.

"She is pleased," T'Challa says, simply. Bucky nods. "She should be. She pulled off a miracle."

Beside him, Steve shifts a little in his seat, putting a hand on Bucky's back.

[from_the_outside]

After another hour or so, Nakia's the next to call it a night, prompting T'Challa to stand up as she does. "Unfortunately," he says, "early morning Council meetings have not gone anywhere."

He wishes them all a good night, and Nakia hugs Sharon and then Bucky as well. "Congratulations," she tells him as she pulls away. She's smiling as she winks at Sharon, and then the two of them stroll out of the garden room together, talking quietly. Sharon hears Nakia's laugh as they turn into the hall, and then it's just the three of them, sitting here together, and she doesn't want it to end.

[nerves_of_ice]

At his left side, Steve stirs, and Bucky realizes what he's about to do the second before the words come out of his mouth.

"Not yet," he says, and leans over to nudge him with his left shoulder, in lieu of slinging an arm around him. Steve's smile is small, but real.

"Okay. If you're sure."

He reaches for Sharon's hand and twines his fingers through it, even as he meets Steve's eyes. "I'm sure," he promises.

[from_the_outside]

She smiles as Bucky stops Steve from leaving; she doesn't want to break this calm, warm evening up yet either. Quiet music plays in the background and there's still wine and beer to sip at, still desserts to nibble on.

And Bucky is free. That makes tonight the best night ever. "Besides, you can't go yet," she says, "because neither of you has challenged the other one to some kind of contest, and I'm pretty sure that's a necessary part of any Rogers-Barnes get-together."

[nerves_of_ice]

Steve leans forward to look at her curiously. "Did you have something in mind?"

A quick breath of laughter escapes Bucky as he looks to Sharon, waiting to see how she'll answer that.