[Ohio AU] the heart of winter

[nerves_of_ice]

Coulson had been called away on something for Fury before they'd gotten more than halfway to wherever his locker is and the set of trading cards stored within it. Without anything else to do, Bucky makes his way back to the quarters he's been given. It's either that or explore the rest of the helicarrier on his own, and that seems like something that can wait safely enough.

He swings by the mess on the way back. As he'd suspected, it's not placed too far distant from what serves as a commissary on this boat. He requisitions a couple of notebooks, a couple of pencils and pens and takes it all with him.

Might as well start with a report on the other Soldiers, he decides. That's likely to be more important in the immediate future than anything else.

Comments

[from_the_outside]

Great. "Maybe you should," she tells him, and keeps going.

"Regardless, we need to talk to Nick and give him our recommendations."

[nerves_of_ice]

Bucky manages to stifle his sigh. "Yes, we do," he agrees. "And then you should get some rest."

[from_the_outside]

"Once we're done." Which could honestly mean a lot more than just after this conversation. She slides a glance over at Bucky, ignoring the light pounding in her head. "I'm not about to fall over, Bucky. I can go for a while longer."

[nerves_of_ice]

"I believe you." He does. He also believes that she'll go right until she does fall over, if she feels she has to.

Steve would have done the same. Did do the same, more than once.

"But you should rest up before we go in. Get as close to the top of your game as you can. And you should let me do the heavy lifting."

[from_the_outside]

Well, that's something. And he does at least sound like he believes her, and isn't just saying it. "I will."

She's not even lying. She has every intention of being as on the ball as possible for their attack on the facility. "Besides, pretty sure you've been doing the heavy lifting this whole time."

[nerves_of_ice]

"Not enough of it." Otherwise she wouldn't have been hurt; not in Ohio and not at Lehigh.

[from_the_outside]

That gets her attention. "Hey—"

She stops, and reaches for his arm to stop him, too. "Bucky, this is not your fault. If it weren't for you, I'd be dead. Squished like a bug."

[nerves_of_ice]

He glances up and down the hall as automatically as breathing, checking to make sure they're alone.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

[from_the_outside]

"It's supposed to remind you that you've done plenty to help me," she points out. "None of this is because you didn't do enough."

[nerves_of_ice]

That hits home in a way she doesn't mean, but it's not like she's wrong.

The Winter Soldier's skills are renowned in certain circles for a reason.

Bucky just nods, eyes dark, and turns to start walking down the hall in the direction they were going.

[from_the_outside]

She watches him go for a moment, before falling back into step behind rather than next to him, not trying to catch up just yet. "What?"

That was the wrong thing to say, apparently, but she doesn't know why.

[nerves_of_ice]

"Nothing." He slows down and moves a little to the left so she can walk beside him.

"You're right. But I don't have to like it."

[from_the_outside]

She lifts her eyebrows at him, faintly amused despite herself. "You don't like not being the reason I got hurt?"

[nerves_of_ice]

He shakes his head. “I am the reason you got hurt.”

[from_the_outside]

"Didn't we just agree you weren't?" Not that it really matters, she's sure. It'll just keep eating him up that he couldn't keep her from getting through both the fight and the missile unscathed. "You were literally unconscious when I hurt my hand. There wasn't any way you could have stopped it."

[nerves_of_ice]

“You wouldn’t have been chasing Karpov if it weren’t for me. Because of me,” he clarifies.

[from_the_outside]

Sharon shakes her head at him as they come up on the lifts. "I'd have been chasing Karpov no matter who or what I found in that facility, if it hadn't been you," she points out. "I was never gonna let him get away. It's not on you, Bucky."

[nerves_of_ice]

He doesn’t look convinced - he doesn’t feel convinced, given she was there in the first place to buy the weapon that was - is - him, but he’s not sure there’s any point in arguing.

“Still.”

[from_the_outside]

She slides a glance at him, then looks back at the elevator doors. "Uh-huh."

When the lift arrives, she gets in and waits for him to follow before sending it back up again. "This isn't going to be a big deal every time I get hurt, is it?"

[nerves_of_ice]

“Probably not, but I’m never going to like it,” he says, with unthinking honesty.

[from_the_outside]

That is, actually, a relief, and the corner of her mouth twitches as she looks over at him. "Well, it'd be pretty weird if you liked it."

But if he doesn't beat himself up about it every single time, she'll take it as a win. The lift stops and she gets off, heading with him toward Fury's office.

[nerves_of_ice]

“I guess that’s true.”

A thin thread of tension grows in him as they approach the Director’s office. He’s not sure he could help it if he tried, and it seems right to be on guard anyway.

Bucky raps lightly at the door when they reach it, metal fingers causing an equally metallic ringing sound.

[from_the_outside]

"Come," they hear, and Sharon pushes open the door and enters to see Fury standing by a large screen, reviewing personnel files. He closes the window as they come in and puts his hands behind his back. "Well?"

"Report for you," Sharon tells him. "And our recommendations for the Siberia mission."

[nerves_of_ice]

He sets the report on the other man's desk where he can easily claim it when he wants and keeps his position by Sharon. "Summary of intel on the other Soldiers, plus some supporting information about the facility."

"Bottom-line it for me," Fury suggests. "Thirteen, how do you propose to run the op?"

[from_the_outside]

"Small and fast," she tells him. "Two teams: one for initial infiltration, one for damage."

She folds her hands together in front of herself, ignoring the ache in her muscles and joints. "I recommend the initial team be made up of me, Bucky, and Coulson, attempting to maintain the original cover I set with the North Institute. Bucky has volunteered to go undercover as a programmed and obedient Winter Soldier."